I was on a 19 hour coach journey in Australia


and I had been happily munching on some ham flavoured crisps, when at the bottom of the pack I discovered a mighty flavour ball!

I gently lifted free of the packet and examined it, it was about the large of a large grape, delicate to the touch and made of purest ham flavouring.

I was bewitched; this was going to be the most amazing culinary experience anyone had ever had on coach!

I dropped the nugget of joy into my mouth and bit down to release it's pungent flavours.

Holy wanking christ, it was and still is the most disgusting thing I have ever put in my mouth!

If someone dried the Dead Sea, mixed the salt with pig shit and then mixed in some silica gel as a drying agent and shovelled the entire mixture into my mouth through the corpse of Jo Brand it would have tasted better.

This thing was like the Devil's piles dipped in salt, it sucked all of the moisture out of my mouth and then my body, leaving me shrivelled up in the corner until the next fuel stop where I could buy some water an try and flush some of the shit out of me.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:42, Reply)