subtlety? pah
My wife warns people that I can be a bit blunt and may come across a bit tactless. I don't think it's a bad trait personally. Anyway, she said she was glad I wasn't with her on her dinner-hour recently.

A large lady she works with admits to having at least 3 takeaways a week. She's also having a gastric band fitted.

And yet she had the cheek to call my wife lazy because we've just got a dishwasher.

I'd have told her that she's too lazy to put down her kebab, the cheeky cow.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 13:14, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

dishwashers aren't lazy
I've got one, and since having it I would never not have one

it's not like washing up takes much effort, but having the dishwasher saves 10-15 minutes at a crucial point in the day!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 13:24, Reply)

My boss and his wife
both have gastric bands. It's amazing how little they can eat, and have to regulate each bite.
If they don't chew properly, it comes right back up and if they eat hte wrong food it plays hell on their stomachs.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 14:31, Reply)

I was listening
to a guy talking about gastric bands earlier today on the radio. He was saying that they were a last resort for people who couldn't manage to lose weight any other way and then said there is obviously the risk of death with surgery. And the interviewer said "there's not really a significant risk of death is there?" and he went "yes, with one type of operation it's 1 in 100" Which I found pretty refreshingly honest.

But seriously, it fucking annoys me that people say "I've tried everything and I can't lose the weight" the fact is you haven't tried, you failed miserably because you're a greedy fucking cunt who can't put down their fucking pies and do some fucking exercise.

Fucking annoys me that there are waiting lists for important operations and time and money is wasted forcing fat cunts to eat less.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 14:37, Reply)

DUDE!
You just like totally missed a QOTW based on hypocrisy and everything! This was a winner for sure!

Oh man, I'm so excited that I'm going to bounce off the walls for a bit!

Oh fuck off Bert, you gerbil touching cunt. Fuck off indeed.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 15:01, Reply)

What the fuck is wrong with you today Mrs Bert
Nice dress by the way. It really goes with your penis.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 15:08, Reply)

I'll tell you what the fuck is wrong with me today
Yeah, I'll fucking tell you what's wrong with me alright.

The whole fucking world is wrong with me, that's what. You fucking Kangaroo scrotum of a human being, you.

Yeah, I said it, what are you gonna do? Hmm?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 15:11, Reply)

What am I gonna do?
I'll tell you what I'll fucking do. I'm gonna have a cup of tea and fall asleep, I've been up since 5.30 and then digging holes all morning and I'm knackered and the last thing I want is to think about your fucking rancid face gurning stupidly in front of your monitor while you think about which hole you're going to violate your porcine mrs in when you next see her.

Has her birthday happened yet? Have you got her something nice?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 15:14, Reply)

It's my porcine Mrs's birthday next wednesday
I've got her fuck all. My love for her should be enough, and she ought to be grateful.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 15:27, Reply)

Yes she fucking should
There are men that would kill, yes, KILL for a taste of your love, but that ungrateful bitch gets it on a regular basis whether she likes it or not. She makes me fucking SICK with FURIOUS rage.

You should buy her a nice scarf.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 15:32, Reply)

I might just wear boots and stamp down on her face, forever
or flowers. Flowers are a safe bet.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 15:34, Reply)

You should tie flowers all around your cock
and put it in a chocolate cake therefore combining all the things that women like into one handy package.

And then force it down her throat.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 15:36, Reply)

She's not that into cake.
I'll have to smear my balls with chow mein and kkkittens if I'm ever going to make that impossible to please bitch happy.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 15:37, Reply)

Yeah RACIST KITTENS
the ultimate present. I'm going to train my kittens to attack gypsies. That'll teach the pikey bastards.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 15:39, Reply)

It's the supremacy that makes them so cute
Pykies are impervious to kitten attacks, what you need is a squadron of genetically modified bricks, tied to a bungee, attached at the other end to Hypnodisc.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 15:41, Reply)