A joke for PJM.
It's funny cos it's true. Content in replies.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 30 Mar 2009, 12:48, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Motherhood
A woman walks into a benefits office, trailed by 15 kids...
'WOW,' the caseworker exclaims, 'Are they ALL yours?
'Yeah they are all mine,' the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, 'Sit down Terry.' All the children rush to find seats.

'Well,' says the caseworker, 'then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names.'

'This one's my oldest - he is Terry.'

'OK, and who's next?'

'Well, this one he is Terry, also.'

The caseworker raises an eyebrow but continues. One by one, through the oldest four, all boys, all named Terry. Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, named Terri. 'All right,' says the caseworker. 'I'm seeing a pattern here. Are they ALL named Terri?'

Their Mother replied, 'Well, yes-it makes it easier. When it is time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Terry!' And when it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Terry!' an' they all come running. And if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell 'Terry' and all of them stop. It's the best idea I ever had, naming them all Terry.'

The caseworker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, 'But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch?'

'I call them by their surnames!'
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 30 Mar 2009, 12:50, Reply)

Sounds like Milton Keynes JobCentrePlus.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 13:00, Reply)

Haha!
Ah, comically offensive stereotypes. I like that one.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 13:18, Reply)

Heard it before
but with the name 'wayne' instead.

Wayne is better.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 13:23, Reply)

Yay! Crap stereotype joke corner!
What's the first thing a blond asks after giving birth?

...

"Is it mine?"
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 13:27, Reply)

SERIOUS!
Isn't that a lot more offensive than David Jason's joke on the radio the other day?

I'm not offended I just think he's getting the thin end of the wedge about something that wasn't racist at all!
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 13:30, Reply)

Oh and
An Essex girl is in a car crash. A paramedic arrives at the scene and sees the girl in a pool of blood in her car. He wrenches open the door and asks the girl what her name is.

"Sharon" replies the girl.

"Okay Sharon, where are you bleeding from?"

"Romford"
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 13:32, Reply)

Nice :-)
Essex girl crashes her car, spins it right round and crunches it up.

Paramedics arrive and drag her from the smoking wreck.

"What's your name?", asks the paramedic
"Uuugh, Tracy", replies the girl
"Do you know what happened Tracy?"
"I think I crashed my car..."
"Ok, Tracy, that's right", says the paramedic, flashing a light in her eyes and checking her over, "And how many fingers have I got up?"
"Oh fuck! Don't tell me I'm fucking paralysed from the waist down!"
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 13:46, Reply)

@DDT
No more offensive than the Paddy O'Doors, Jean De Lear, Beertricks Potter jokes. I simply view tham as puns based around known names. We're not racist, just xenophobes. Comes from living on an island etc etc.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 30 Mar 2009, 13:47, Reply)

Essex girl
Drives, avoids trees, crashes, car freshener.
Fill the rest in yourselves..
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 30 Mar 2009, 13:49, Reply)

Exactly!
I'd be really annoyed and outraged if I could be bothered. The only thing David Jason is guilty of is telling a shit joke.

Why does a dog lick his balls?

Because they're delicious!
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 14:00, Reply)

Tracy manages to crash her Escort cabriolet...
...a couple of paramedics arrive on the scene.

A paramedic edges towards her and checks to see if she's still conscious.

"How many fingers am I sticking up?" asks the paramedic.

"Waaa! Don't tell me I'm paralyzed from the waist dahn!"
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 30 Mar 2009, 14:07, Reply)

And there's..
Ozzie 1: I know a Pom with no nose.
Ozzie 2: How does he smell?
Ozzie 1: Still fucking awful.

Badum tish. We are not alone.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 30 Mar 2009, 14:08, Reply)

....
What does an Essex girl say after sex?

Do you really all play for the same football team?

What's the difference between an Essex boy and Essex girl?

The girl has a higher sperm count.

What do you call an Essex girl with two brain cells?

Pregnant.
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 14:12, Reply)

Bit echoey in here today
;-)
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 14:36, Reply)

Is that
Another Essex girl joke?
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 14:57, Reply)