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( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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You know that line in 'Goodmorning Vietnam', when Robin Williams says: "I've never seen a white man more in need of a blow-job."?
Well, I am that man.
Mrs G is a bit under the weather at the moment and less receptive than normal to my frequent amorous fumblings. Plus, I've just spent my lunch-hour in the pub reading the Best Of outdoor sex and wandering around town being stirred by the latest fashions - mini-dresses over tights, skin-tight leggings, low-cut summer tops...
Anyone care to oblige me - I'll make it worth your while.
Honest.
( , Fri 1 May 2009, 14:14, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You've just ruined my entire day by mentioning
a) Robin Williams and
b) Good Morning Vietnam
*goes on killing rampage in shopping centre*
( , Fri 1 May 2009, 14:15, Reply)

he's all teeth and self-loathing.
I'll do it for nothing, and you can even come in my hair.
( , Fri 1 May 2009, 14:21, Reply)

*kneels*
Not really one of my better talents but I'll oblige.
( , Fri 1 May 2009, 14:22, Reply)

...it had better be 'payment on delivery' - perhaps on a sliding scale.
( , Fri 1 May 2009, 14:23, Reply)

Free to you.
( , Fri 1 May 2009, 14:27, Reply)

I respect you hugely as a writer and dare I say it, I admire you as a human being. Many times you've been a shining beacon of well written gentle humour on b3ta.
But I'm not doing that for you.
No sir.
I'm happy to contribute £5 to your exepenses if you should wish to hire a lady to do it for you though.
( , Fri 1 May 2009, 14:28, Reply)

I've just had Mrs G on the phone asking me to pick up a double pack of mince from M&S on the way home.
I feel a teeny bit guilty.
I didn't say to stop.
( , Fri 1 May 2009, 14:35, Reply)

Well I never...
Still, better than *hugs* though
( , Fri 1 May 2009, 14:38, Reply)

Much better now.
It won't happen again, I promise.
( , Fri 1 May 2009, 14:46, Reply)
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