Hay there, you there, yes, you, the good looking one, yes mate, you.
Step right up, step right up, for only $4.99, you can by my patented book on "How to deal with pain".

Look at little Timmy there, he doesn't look to happy, what's wrong little timmy? You feel like your torso is being crushed and exploding at the same time? That's a sorry state of affairs little timmy, let's see what Doctor G can do for you.

Well, first up, get your hands on some morphine tablets, some solphadeen and a carbonated cafinated drink. Doesn't that help? Well, yes, but that pain is going to come back Timmy, and we all know about the dangers of O.Ding.... no timmy, not Willard Smith's phrase "Over Dancing", we're talking about "Over Dosing".

But hold up timmy, get the bath running, put it so hot that it just about doesn't burn your skin. Bung in some Radox, don't be Shy Timmy, this stuff can't hurt you, go mad, put 1/4 of the bottle in. Arn't those bubbles fun? Why don't you treat yourself to a lovely Audio Book and a bar of galaxy while you're in there, treat yourself.

Next up, TENS machines, don't be scared to put it up timmy, it's supposed to hurt you, but doesn't that take your mind off your insides exploding and impoding at the same time? It's good stuff. Then get a hot waterbottle, that'll sort you out. Don't worry, you can tell people it's stretch marks because you've put on a little weight, rather than burn marks.

Now, MTFU, tell the internet, and don't forget the obligatory question.... so, let's ask the audiance what they do in this situation?

TL;DR - In pain, what I do about it, what do you do about it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 17:35, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

How to deal with pain?
Crawl under a duvet, crying for Mum, right?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 17 Jun 2009, 17:38, Reply)

I've never been in cronic pain,
so I can't help you, sorry.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 18:01, Reply)

ice packs,
TENS machine, codeine phosphate + paracetamol + diclofenac (fuck-off slow release anti-infammatory), gentle yoga and a nobbly massage machine. That's for a shagged back though, so I can't see many of those options working for you mate.

*checks for anti-fluff brigade*

*hugs*

p.s. red wine really does have anti-inflammatory properties, as does ginger.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 18:40, Reply)

Ohh, yes, I shall pick up some ginger =D

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 17 Jun 2009, 19:12, Reply)

Medicate, Medicate, Medicate
And call the doctor.

I can honestly say the only time I've ever been in the kind of pain you describe, I was in labor. Is there something 'special' we should know about you?
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Wed 17 Jun 2009, 18:58, Reply)