I should say.
Or TV licence stamps, if you can still get them. Haven't paid my licence for years, not since they cancelled Triangle. I feel it's about time I changed my ways since the Beeb contracted Graeme Norton. I'd hate to see him go short, y' know?

It's like my own contribution to gay, Irish stereotypes.
(Craig Colclough I've been on the telly you know. And in the papers, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:42, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

The Poor Lad
And that Terry Wogan, eh?

Did you know that he works for a pittance? A PITTANCE!

And he's got a spud farm you know. Well he needs it to sup-le-ment his income off the BBC.

I'll tell you what they are - they're RACIST. YES RACIST that BBC against IRISH with WIGS.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:49, Reply)

Couldn't agree more old chap.
With any sponsorship left over I shall be founding a retirement home for aged Irish entertainers. It shall be made entirely of potatoes, and have a thatched roof fashioned from Sir Terry's old wigs, but because I'm a slightly twisted chap, I shall insist that the vegetable garden grows nothing but asparagus and curly kale.

Got to have some fun, what? The genius is that should restrospective planning permission be refused, the residents can eat the house! Cheaper than demolition.

I've thought this through; you can tell, can't you?
(Craig Colclough I've been on the telly you know. And in the papers, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 19:57, Reply)

Turf?
I think there ought to be turf that they can burn in the cruel Hibernian winter.

Could Val Doonican and Dave Allan live there if they're not already dead?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:09, Reply)

They booked up years ago, old bean.
And I think the "The Valster", as he likes to be known, is still alive. I could be wrong; however, Dave is already ensconsed on a stool in what will be the basement. In a neat touch, instead of a glass of cold tea pretending to be whisky next to him, I've actually placed his missing finger in some embalming fluid. I found it on E-Bay a couple of years ago; apparently he lost it in a fight with a midget priest who took offence at his routine.

Did you know that the pipes in the building will be lagged with the Valster's old cardigans? Recycling; it's the way to go. Hopefully the heat from the pipes will melt the stains off, though.
(Craig Colclough I've been on the telly you know. And in the papers, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:14, Reply)

Thank you
I'd been a little worried about the welfare of those old troopers.

Now I must retire - EVERYBODY knows that the best mushrooms are picked at daybreak and an early bed for me will net the choicest fungi tomorrow.

But may I say that your presence here this evening has been as the gentlest waft of air from the tenderest butterfly's wing, for you and your misbegotten offspring, whilst tedious, are a damnded sight more entertaining than the usual OT empire.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:26, Reply)

Oh, jolly good.
Good luck with the mushroom picking and remember, avoid the ones with the red and white caps with the gnomes living in them, there's a good chap.
(Craig Colclough I've been on the telly you know. And in the papers, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:23, Reply)