Listen to me here, this is important.
You cut the chicken down the back bone and crack it so it's flat. Then you slice down the legs, wings and breast. Then you cover in Ketchup, Lots and lots of garlic (a whole bulb that's been cut finely), some sea salt, some sweet chilli and some honey.

Then you bung it in the oven, poor a glass of something saucy, a bit of galaxy, run a bath, put the phone off the hook, get the bubbly/silky/smelly stuff. Then soak yourself for about an hour.

Then you lesurly get out the bath, put on that fluffly dressing down that's been left over the radiator, pick a film to watch, base the chicken, call up a girlfriend and chat about this'n'that for about 30 minuites.

Then you tell her you've got to go, take the chicken out (depending on how large), leave to rest for 15 minuites while you get a salad together.

And THAT is how to make a roast chicken.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 23:05, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Gonzo
Droppin it like it's hot since 2004
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 23:13, Reply)

I'm the kindda playah who smokes in the bath....why? Because I Can.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 23:15, Reply)

Gonz, that sounds amazing.
*wants chicken nao*
( Maladicta, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 23:15, Reply)

Plus you've got sandwiches for a few of days.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 23:24, Reply)

Bugger.
Am tempted to amend my Tesco order to an entire chicken, not just bits now!
( Maladicta, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 23:27, Reply)

It's always really crap chicken when you order it in bits.
I'ld quite like someone to invent chicken-scratchings.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 23:32, Reply)

Yep :( I do it because I like to make curry.
Should really get the two of us an entire chicken and we can nom for days :)
( Maladicta, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 23:34, Reply)

Thank you for your kind offer, but I thought you had a boyfriend?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 23:40, Reply)

You know what?
I think I do :) On va voir.
( Maladicta, Mon 13 Jul 2009, 0:04, Reply)

Fuck Me
I want some of that with extra saucy sauce
(smathels left-wing not feckin' chicken wing, Sun 12 Jul 2009, 23:37, Reply)

Ketchup?
oh gonz, you brainwrong.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 13 Jul 2009, 9:07, Reply)