Due to a long-time lack of attention from, and past indiscretions by, members of the opposite sex I'm debating going gay.
What I need from you, my fellow b3tans, is a list of pros and cons to homosexuality to consider before making the leap.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 16:41, 39 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

no boobies
unless you like to spunk your curd over a set of moobs that is
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 16:43, Reply)

Hmmm.
I think I could live with that. Many men shave their chests anyway.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 16:46, Reply)

MOAR COCK

( thealternativefact, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 16:47, Reply)

I'm assuming that's to go under the "pro" heading?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 16:48, Reply)

It can only be a good thing.

( thealternativefact, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 16:48, Reply)

Well if you like
anal...I guess that's a pro.
Don't like having a cock up your arse? That's probably a con.
Also, no boobs.
(berk, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 16:49, Reply)

I'm yet to be persuaded either way on the giving/taking thing
I think perhaps I'm just a slut.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 16:52, Reply)

Hmmmm.....
Pros:
No mental PMS shit or indeed periods or indeed accidental pregnancies (my specialist subject)
Being freed from the mental torture and guessing-games that pretty much ALL women are party to: 'do you mind if I go out?' 'No' (really it's yes) etc
Cons:
Being a bender
Sore botty
No luvverly babies - unless you buy off the net like Ricky Martin
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 16:52, Reply)

My specialist subject too
Being a bender? Some of my best mates are gay etc.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 16:55, Reply)

well
ask them what they think, over a glass of rohypnol
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 16:58, Reply)

Rohypnol not necessary fortunately
I've recently had a couple of offers as it happens. Flattering.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 17:02, Reply)

It IS strangely pride-inducing isn't it
I worked with a lovely fellow for a couple of years who bowled from the Pavilion End and when he left he told me he'd always fancied me and I was weirdly chuffed.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 17:09, Reply)

do you think
men suffer from their very own form of PMS...i mean, sometimes we all feel a bit pissed off, but never really pissed off enough to be completely fucking evil or delight in acts of pre-meditated agrression, passive or otherwise.

I very rarely feel the need to destroy someones whole fucking weekend on nothing more than a whim, or a contrivance brought screaming back into the present from the safety of the past.

Then it's over, as if fuck all happened........until the next time, that is.


Cunts.

So where is this queue to join the cockwatchers then, i've convinced myself.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 17:02, Reply)

I think so, yeah.
Our hormones may not get quite so stirred up as ladies on the blob, but there do seem to be rhythms of insanity.
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Thu 20 Aug 2009, 17:05, Reply)

Pros:
You get to feel the rough yet gentle caress of beard stubble on your freshly shorn balls.

You get to steal and wear thier pants when yours are dirty.

You get big spunky cocks all up in your guts.

There are no cons, really.
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Thu 20 Aug 2009, 16:55, Reply)

Hahaha
I like your style. There must be cons though. I've met some complete bastards who are gay.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 16:56, Reply)

Its true.
My old boss (Who is also a really good mate.) would ocassionally throw the worst, gayest strops for pretty much no reason at all. They were embarrassingly bitchy, and really the only time he acted in a stereotypically "gay" manner. The only downside for him was that he really, REALLY hated the whole gay scene.

What I'm saying is, if you don't want some people to expect you to wear feather boas and glitter and like musical theatre, don't go to gay clubs.

I'm sure I started out this post with some vague point, but I had to answer the phone part way through and now can't remember.

Still, cocks for all, I say.
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Thu 20 Aug 2009, 17:03, Reply)

A friend of a friend
Never my mate cos I didn't like the prick, was the bitchiest, most gossipy bastard I've ever met. He was cute and knew it, and wore labels and all that. Not my type at all.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 17:07, Reply)

See,
thats exactly the sort of twat that makes my mate hate the whole scene. Its not that there are loads of those guys around, but fucking hell, they make a lot of noise. Oddly, another mate is always the most polite, friendly guy ever, but the only people I've ever seen him be outright rude to for no reason are other gay men.
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Thu 20 Aug 2009, 17:10, Reply)

I'd agree
I'm not a lover of the cock but my mate is and he REALLY hates the campy, arse wiggling gayers around Manchester.

I heard him yell a camp wanker bloke in Manchester "Just because you love cock doesn't mean your not a man"

I chuckled. I love him. He is ace.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 17:07, Reply)

I don't like camp guys either
No idea why. A bit of MTFU I think.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 17:10, Reply)

Its not even MTFU-ing, I don't think.
People like that are just outright obnoxious. You'd hate them if they were straight and so cock-sure *ahem* with no real reason.
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Thu 20 Aug 2009, 17:12, Reply)

maybe someone can tell me
why it is that when a guy decides he loves teh cock and is going to be a full on bender, why do they turn into simpering, mincing twats whith the poofiest of voicest and mannerisms.

I know a few straight acting gayblades, and it is most refreshing to hear them speak normally and act like normal people.

So where does all this fucking campness come from, is it within since birth, or do they just put it on to get attention, which then leads to them acting like that way all the time.

I ask, because there is a brother and sister who get on my bus in the morning, i would say primary 6 or 7, twins possibly...and the wee guy has the campest poofiest voice you've heard this side of Canal Street. I bet with myself that he will in fact grow up to be a bumhole engineer of the highest order.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 17:20, Reply)

My god-brother
was a raving queen at five. Liked dolls and womens shoes, favourite colours 'purple and pink'. Now works in musical theatre.

Stereotypes ahoy!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 17:22, Reply)

Daughter's step-brother has always said he wants to be a girl.
Played with dolls, prefers female company etc. He's nine.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 17:30, Reply)

I have a GBF.
He is the nastiest, most vicious, bigoted snark I've ever met. Killer debater; not soft or fluffy in the slightest; will only say something nice if it's REALLY worth it and the person in question will KILL themselves or something without it; and is generally Lucifer personified.

I have the bitemarks on my arm still from last Monday.

Then I have a friend with a girlfriend who acts like a mincing queer.
I love my life.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 17:54, Reply)

According to Roger's Profanisaurus, there's a term for a recently out-the-closet gay who all of a sudden becomes a walking gay-stereotype
but I'll be buggered (see what I did there?) if I can remember it.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 21:51, Reply)

Indeed
Just a different spin on the 'leering builder hanging off the scaffolding' mentality....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 17:20, Reply)

REEEEEEEEEEEEALLY late reply
but if anyone seriously thought that avoiding the opposite sex and going for their own gender was going to make a difference to the amount of assholes they date, I suspect that they may be in for a shock. They haven't taken into acount that the majority of people are basically dicks, regardless of whats between the legs.

I hope we ALL learned something this evening. I'm Jerry Springer, and this is me saying goodnight. Take care of yourselves, and each other.
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Thu 20 Aug 2009, 21:40, Reply)

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Don't turn gay.

There are not enough decent straight men as it is. You're depriving a future female partner of a decent and loving man.
( girlinthehole, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 18:25, Reply)

You're very sweet.
Actually I think you just made my day.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 18:58, Reply)

Tis true : )

( girlinthehole, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 19:14, Reply)

.
You don't have to worry about pregnancies, but you will be giving birth to bum-babies with a high sperm-count.

Plus you have to start worrying more about whether or not you've wiped properly.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 21:44, Reply)

Bum-Babies,
floating 'round the bowl in a greasey, smelling tangle.

Supperatting anuses are sexy.
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Thu 20 Aug 2009, 21:55, Reply)

Do it
men have cocks and can be a bit rough.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 23:04, Reply)

Women can be a bit rough too ; )

( girlinthehole, Fri 21 Aug 2009, 8:36, Reply)

Are you being serious?
"I've failed with women so i'm trying men"???

I thought it wasn't a choice?

Love the sig BTW, that advert cracks me up (especially as I have 2 good friends called Paul)
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 21 Aug 2009, 10:47, Reply)

Nah, not massively serious...
Kinda a play on bgb's thread the day before. I'm comfortably bi anyway so I can pick and choose at will.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 21 Aug 2009, 11:40, Reply)

Righto, understood

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 21 Aug 2009, 11:48, Reply)