when is/was the baby do?

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 15:13, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

he was officially due yesterday
but in my family, babies are ALWAYS early. Trust this one to be contrary. It's his czech genes, I tell ya.
( ascorbate, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 15:14, Reply)

I had czech genes once
they went really well with my tartan chromosomes.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 15:15, Reply)

^This is an excellent joke and nobody even noticed
I'm wasted here
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 15:34, Reply)

I've just seen it and it's tickled me.
And yes, in a good way.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 15:41, Reply)

I liked it
especially since I have tartan chromosomes.
So I've stolen the joke and am going to pass it off as my own, if people laugh. If they don't, it's yours.
( ascorbate, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 16:19, Reply)

my family always goes past the due date and have large babies, 10 lbs, and 11 lbs were the latest
hope you pop soon!
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 15:18, Reply)

oh, don't say that
I've got some vests for newborn size babies, and don't think they'll fit him anymore.
largest baby in our family before now was 8 lbs apparently; mine was forecast to be 8 and a half yesterday, so he's going to be a total porker.
I'm just hoping the scan was wrong.
( ascorbate, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 15:21, Reply)

He's gonna make a terrible mess of your vagina

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 15:27, Reply)

I saw my cousin give birth. Wasn't so bad.
Until the placentaaah*barfs*
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 15:31, Reply)

Were you frigging yourself at the time?
It does have a tendency to put one off one's stroke.

EDIT My daughter was born by caesaren, it was pretty cool watching them cut my ex open, hold back the skin flaps with metal prongs and then pull her out like a chestburster in Aliens.

In real life gore is much more messy though, evolution needs to learn a thing or two from hollywood
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 15:31, Reply)

I'm actually
quite interested in seeing the placenta :) not sure why.
And at the moment, I couldn't give a shit about how much my undercarriage is ruined, I just want the baby out. And an epidural.
( ascorbate, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 15:40, Reply)

Just make sure you take the right one home with you

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 15:41, Reply)

Exactly
Take the epidural home and leave the baby at the hospital.

Trust me on this one, they won't take them back down the road to trade in for newer models.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Mon 21 Sep 2009, 16:16, Reply)

I have heard that
it seems a bit crap really - you can get a dog put down if he shits and pisses everywhere, but with babies you're expected to clean up after them for 2-3+ years, with no options to get rid of them.
I'm hoping some sort of mothering hormones kick in PDQ once he's born, otherwise he's going to be given to my moronic sister who is so broody she's started sprouting feathers.
( ascorbate, Mon 21 Sep 2009, 16:30, Reply)