how about
'I need to do some washing and my machine's broken. Can I borrow your key? I promise I won't snoop around in your private stuff, go through your shredder and piece together your last phone bill, and try to get into your laptop'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 15:33, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh yeah
That's a good one!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 27 Oct 2009, 15:34, Reply)

I think the real lie here was actually
'No, honest. I'm not a mental, really I'm not. Sure, sometimes I roll around in faeces I pull from the sewers near your house, but I'm not mad, not really. At least that's what the doctor said, but I was on alot of medication, so I could be wrong. BIG FAT FUCKING HAIRY WIBBLE'
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 15:42, Reply)

I concur
that was basically the subtext to it all. I'm still freaked out.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 16:29, Reply)