Ear Wax
Is it horrible, disgusting and rank or harmless and benevolent.

I go for the latter. I just went to scratch my ear, in the wee cup bit below your ear canal and there was what could only be described as a 'bean of wax' just resting in it. I gingerly picked it and and was quite proud, it was pretty big, and looked like fudge. Some folks get into a lather about ear wax, but fuck, it aint gonna kill ye.

I did get my ears syringed once with what looked like a pre-war cake icing thing..She filled it with lukewarm water, gave me a bevelled cup to hold under my ear and squirted away..I thought it was sloshing around my eyeball, and after a few seconds it became quite pleasant. when i looked in the cup it was like pineapple juice. What a difference it made though, i felt brilliant!!

So what should i do with the ear fudge, should i eat it, photograph it or ping it at the hatchet faced boot across from me?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 11:56, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Couldn't you
shape it into a cock, then give it to your colleague?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 11:58, Reply)

build up a collection of it
until you've an actual fudge-sized lump - then sweetly offer it to the aforementioned hatchet faced boot.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 12:13, Reply)

If in doubt,
Always go for the facial!
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 12:14, Reply)

Very useful if you don't like a big head on your beer
It has been demonstrated to me that just giving your ear a quick poke with your little finger - just enough to give it a thin film of wax - and then running said finger over the head of your beer will break the surface tension and cause the head to literally fall away at the touch of your mighty fingertip.

You may consider this practice ever so slightly disgusting.

Edit: It looked like pineapple juice. Did it taste like pineapple juice?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 12:14, Reply)

One of my ears got blocked with wax
Because I was an idiot and kept jamming cotton buds in my ear to clean it.

The nurse took out some kind of wondery water machine that pumped and sooked water in and out of my ear canal, and like you I had to hold a kind of metal tray under my ear to catch all the gunk.

We'll after the water drained away you'd be SURPRISED at how much ear wax can build up in there. There were loads of lumps, some tiny, but 10-20 ranging in size between a pea and an unshelled peanut. Amazing!

Then when I went out on the street, yes I did feel amazing but just the sound of a bus going past made me crumple into a ball of cowering agony. May have been funny for those on the bus.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 12:17, Reply)

Superb
I also got it done with the machine another time, but found it to be incredibly painful and told the nazi nurse to stop. She was kinda shocked at this and actually went to continue with her grim task and would have done had I not stood up and made for the door. The big silver syringe thing was much more pleasant.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 12:21, Reply)

I now feel sick
thanks
( Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 12:27, Reply)

I have the itchiest ears in the whole universe.
FACT!
( girlinthehole, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 12:34, Reply)

Flick it, you must!

( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 29 Oct 2009, 12:49, Reply)

Looks like fudge, tastes like wax
i decided just to recycle the ear discharge, so I ate it.


Nah, only joking, I flicked it towards the harpy across from me, not exactly AT her, but towards her.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 13:14, Reply)

EAT IT
You slag

/Ross Kemp voice
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:03, Reply)