You complete bunch of cunts.
You pus encrusted termites, you spazbag full of shit nuggets. You abhorrent heap of fly attracting tramp vomit. You rancid pit of anal discharge, stinking huge plumes of green stench matter in to a world only spoilt by your miserable lives. You look like the fucking cow that died to make your shoes, after it has been skinned and dipped in shit. You crap splattered wank sock. You gormless crop of hatless fucks, sitting there in a pool of your own effluent smelling like the turd bins behind Battersea Dog's Home during a particularly long strike by the men that empty them. You mind numbingly grossly disfigured trolls. You lump of congealed cock snot. You fat, sad, pie munching billy no mates sat there stinking of piss and crisps, wanking over the guests on the Jeremy Kyle show. You are slightly less attractive than the contents of a vets bandage bin. You festering jar of menstrual goo or the slippery bits on a fish gutter's apron. I hope you all die of the most disgusting disease leaving you all dying slowly as your body slowly rots from your crippled bones.

_{Right. That's the letter to the Inland Revenue sorted. What are your favourite insults?}
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 18:09, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

If someone's getting aggro on my case
I find looking them in the eye and intoning "I'm going to fuck you in the ass" usually freaks them out sufficently for them to back off.

If I'm getting aggro then the word "idiot" is surprisingly powerful.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 18:21, Reply)

shut up shut up
I fucking HATE pies, you old cunt
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 18:45, Reply)

I do like the word "feculent"
If I'm being wordy, or "cuntbucket" if I'm quivering with rage.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 20:32, Reply)

I called someone
a "poohead" today. It made my colleague laugh... at me though, not with me.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 20:36, Reply)

I don't swear publicly
but I often call someone a 'trout', which everyone assumes means 'twat', and 'dungbeetle' is a satisfyingly absurd insult.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 8:09, Reply)

Mine is
'as funny as Captn Hood-Butter'


another one I like is 'you look like the kind of cunt who'd be in a middle-aged Pink Floyd tribute band'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 8:44, Reply)