We've recently introduced a small radio to the office
What I thought would be a breath of fresh air is fast becoming a nightmare.

The girl at the front controls it, and to appease the masses (and herself) prefers Radio1.

I swear those smug thundercunts* at R1 have a single burned CD that they play no more than 4 songs around 95% of the time. Kasabain's new song, Black Eyed Pea's new song, Snow Patrol's new song and La Roux - Quicksand.

The music is shit, yes I can accept that. But what really really gets me is the presenters. They love themselves, their little clique, their spastic humour, the mutual masturbation over the aforementioned 4 songs, everything is AMAZING apparently and gets better after every listen.

Then there's this bitch Fearn Cotton. It's like the entire nation seems to think she is the fountain of all musical knowledge, the fucking slut. But her cover is gone. I know this because they were playing Rock the Casbah by The Clash, and after she finished congratulating herself over playing such a remarkable song, the listener who had phoned in was recommended the "must-listen" work of the legendary punk rockers. (This is where her musical knowledge was unexpectedly tested..)

Did she suggest a classic raw-punk effort like Complete Control or White Riot? Perhaps their best ever track, White Man in Hammersmith Palais, or something from London Calling like Clampdown or Train in Vain?

No the motherfucker went for stock, idiot answer: "Ummmm you've GOT to listen to London Calling or umm Should I Stay or Should I go".

She doesn't know anything! ANYTHING!!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 16:39, 5 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Monty you are not allowed to reply to this

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 16:39, Reply)

I really don't need to, do I?
I actually like White Riot a lot. Proper punk rock, that one.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 16:45, Reply)

switch it to 6music
the playlist isn't likely to upset anyone and the presenters are usually pretty good
( well, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 16:43, Reply)

Well,
upto now I've not been too bothered and I'm usually fairly un-annoyable. But those presenters, my my. I think I shall put forward this suggestion.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 16:57, Reply)

what I really hate about most radio
is that they constantly get people to phone and text in. I don't want to hear what some idiot is doing, or what their opinion is. It's bad enough hearing that shit from the unfunny morons who are the DJs, but the people who phone in are so stupid and unfunny that they can't even get jobs as DJs.

If I ever go on a car journey of more than a few minutes, and don't have my own music with me I always end up on Radio 4, because the others are so full of shit.

At home, it's Planet Rock all the way.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 16:48, Reply)

and another thing
I don't mind Zane Lowe, he seems to know a small something about music and is less irritating than most, yet I have never heard him play a song. Every time I turn on the radio and his show is on it's him talking really fast over some pumping electro stuff.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 16:50, Reply)

Well I've mostly had to put up with Chris Moyles
Who's love for himself is only exceeded by his harem of slevering ring-piece kissers, fauning and laughing over-enthusiastically over every predictable deadpan gag.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 16:56, Reply)

he really is fucking shit
insufferable really. I hate his whole "saviour of radio 1" bullshit. It's not been saved, it's fucking crap.

I don't think that any of the DJs on radio 1 actually like music.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 17:03, Reply)

Massive cunt

I saw one of his cronies in my local the other day, she seemed fairly normal in real life
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 17:06, Reply)

A mate of mine met Lowe
and conceded that he was a genuine music fan and pretty knowledgable, despite expeting to hate his antipodean guts.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 17:26, Reply)

When i had moved back to Glasgow
after living fro 2 years in Derby, i tuned in my radio to the extraordinary force of nature that was Scottie McClue. Basically a shock jock for the west of scotland, and that, is a pretty hardcore prospect. He would goad the the listeners into phoning in, and they did, so much so that the phone lines actually nearly went into meltdown. /fact

It became addiction for me, hours and hours of idiotic arguments and slagging matches, all overseen by Scotty and his caustic sarcasm. After a few months it did all get a bit samey...but coming from the East Midlands and its vanilla existence it was a total shot in the arm to hear that good old scottish bile and venom again.

"yer talking shite Scotty, yer a nugget"

so on and so forth
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 16:59, Reply)

I like a bit of Radcliff and Maconie
On radio 2 in the evening.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 17:03, Reply)

That's the thing
she doesn't actually know anything, which wouldn't bother me so much if she didn't bang on all the time how she is responsible for 'finding' bands! If she ever 'finds' Saves the Day I will 'find' her and break both her legs!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 12 Nov 2009, 17:32, Reply)