I WANT A FUCKING MONTAGE FLANGEMONKEY

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 21:03, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

A mother fuckin montage!!!
I'll ask them tomorrow. My salon is also a costume/hair extensions shop for lap dancers, drag queens and pvc folk. They're always taking pics, so I don't think a montage is beyond the remit.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 21:13, Reply)

Well now you freakin have to Missus

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 21:14, Reply)

The dressmaker/extensions girl is ACE
Nobody knows how old she is but she's had botox. She was in Jackie magazine in her teens because of her odd but beautiful appearance. And she comes out with the best lines.
"You know what, I'd love to make little (Roota) a rubber dress, but I am NOT bonding seams at my age. Eh (Roota), wanna borrow me corset wiv six inch nails on it??"
"Er... no? I'm going to a party, not an orgy..."
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 21:17, Reply)

Six inch nails?
I wonder where they go? I had to explain to the receptionists at work today what suspension was. One of them went very pale and asked me to go back to the prep area. You'd think with the amount of blood and generally bad smells that are around my workplace they'd be used to it, but I think I might have been a bit too graphic :(
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 21:21, Reply)

I recently saw the famous corset
She'd sprayed it silver and lent it to some bloke.
The nails just kind of acted as a fringe.

I get a bit graphic in work sometimes. You forget some people grew up in Houghton-le-Spring...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 21:26, Reply)

What does that mean?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 21:34, Reply)

Houghton-le-Spring?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 21:36, Reply)

Yeah, is it a well to do place or a run down crack den?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 21:40, Reply)

Well if the people I've met are anything to go by
it's some parallel universe where people join travelling gospel groups and who, when describing someone who's black, drop to a whisper and say "You know, the *coloured* girl..."
The kind of people who go "You're trying to say my 14 year old son masturbates?? Oh hawaaaay!"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 21:43, Reply)

Oh but they sound enchanting!
I think you should become very good close personal friends with each and every one of them. Then kill them. Hard.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 21:55, Reply)

I couldn't
I feel so sorry for them.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 21:59, Reply)