It really is blatant lying
A bloke once came up to my room and told me my couch was 'too noisy' and asked could he get into my bed.
I said "YEAH, LET'S SWAP, MISTER. I'LL GET ON THE NOISY FUCKING COUCH AND YOU CAN HAVE THIS BED!"
He went back downstairs.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 9:26, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

...literally
with his tail between his legs....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 9:30, Reply)

The night had started with him chasing me and the duvet round the sofa
and ended with me sleeping with the housephone and my mobile under my pillow.
I do believe the Benny Hill theme played at one point.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 9:33, Reply)

hahaha
I once stayed at a guest house in Newquay for work. The booking had been made wrong so there was a single room and a double room for 3 of us. My mate and I had to share a double bed, and despite us knowing that the rest of the place was empty of guests, the sour-faced old landlady tried to insist that she didn't have any spare duvets and that the one with hearts on it is all we could have.

We did not stand for this attitude and insisted she give us another duvet.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 9:30, Reply)

Hearts!!!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 9:35, Reply)

cock tease

(PsychoChomp, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 9:32, Reply)

Haha!
The next day he said sorry.
"I said I'll put it down to drunkenness." and he said "Well you weren't drunk enough to relent, were you!"
God bless him.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 9:34, Reply)