I quit!
It's New Year's ResolutionResignation time! What shall I put in my resignation letter?

I came to the conclusion the other day that there are better ways of making a living that don't involve oil, deserts or strange gentlemen with unkempt beards. I want to go home!
(daizi last tried to escape on, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:19, 45 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Who are you then?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:20, Reply)

He's that Nigerian wot tried to blow up his pants on Xmas Day

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:22, Reply)

Funny you should mention that
... mate of mine is trying to fly to Nigeria, via Abu Dhabi, as we speak. I've told him to pack the KY, just in case.
(daizi last tried to escape on, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:25, Reply)

Long time lurker...
joined right before the friendly employer cut off all non-corporate internet access (at our accommodation as well as at work) hence lack of L plate.

Flame away at the noob - got my asbestos underwear ironed especially
(daizi last tried to escape on, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:23, Reply)

I don't flame noobs
it's just not challenging enough.

What's your favourite colour?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:24, Reply)

Red
or anything but beige. Seen quite enough of that lately.
(daizi last tried to escape on, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:27, Reply)

I'm bored of you now.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:29, Reply)

Of course
not challenging enough
(daizi last tried to escape on, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:31, Reply)

'bored with'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:40, Reply)

'fuck off'

(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:49, Reply)

Why did you put that in quotation form?
Who are you stealing from now?
( thealternativefact, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:51, Reply)

it was an imitation of his post.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:53, Reply)

Oh right...stealing from Monty.
Have you made up your mind about NYE yet?
( thealternativefact, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:54, Reply)

Where to go? Yes
Who to kiss, no.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:55, Reply)

Good luck!
We expect a full report :)
( thealternativefact, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:58, Reply)

I can give you the report now.
"I can't remember what happened last night"
(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 14:00, Reply)

Your own retorts are so much less entertaining
than when you resort to other people's. I can see why you do it now.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:52, Reply)

Are you James Bond?
Where are you?
Come the fuck home.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:23, Reply)

A Difficult One
Depending on where you are in the world and whether or not you have your passport (in some parts of the Middle East the employer seizes the passport) you may have difficulty in sticking two fingers up and getting on the first aircraft home.

In your letter of resignation, however, I'd recommend:

1. Clear statement of resignation (e.g., "I resign my post of X with effect from date Y"

2. Clear and unambiguous statement as to why (e.g., "I have come to the conclusion that the global hydrocarbon industry is the root of all evil"

3. Clear statement of your requirements for your employers (e.g., "I will be leaving the country on date Y (as above) and expect that you will have cleared all matters in relation to my visa, passport and outstanding payments")

4. A short statement at the end (e.g., "I trust that there are no areas in this letter which require clarification and I look forward to departure from the country on date Y, able to look forward in future to the glowing reference from you that I deserve")

Hope that this helps!
(Medical_Male Say aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:29, Reply)

5. There are many more like me

Then just blow up your pants.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:42, Reply)

Would a really loud fart do?
I'm rather attached to my nuts y'see
(daizi last tried to escape on, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:44, Reply)

If you lit it, then yes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:47, Reply)

Missed Christmas
... anyone got any sprouts left over? Gotta get my methane levels up.
(daizi last tried to escape on, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:48, Reply)

Thanks
Good guess at Middle East - Saudi. Not exactly a tourist destination, with bad weather, bad beaches and NO BOOZE!
(daizi last tried to escape on, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:42, Reply)

Perhaps Monty's brother could head out there for a detox. and a suntan.
Wouldn't mind some of that action myself to be honest.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:44, Reply)

He's a committed racist. It would never work.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:47, Reply)

Hang out with the Embassy crowd in Bahrain
... they all are, too.

Actually, they're also all pissheads, which might be a wrinkle in the plan.
(daizi last tried to escape on, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:49, Reply)

Shame. Is it just 'the darkies', or any shade darker than magnolia?

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:51, Reply)

He doesn't like 'abroad'.
Apparently they all smell. This from a man who was a squatter.

The fucking cheek.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:53, Reply)

I like a person that knows what they want,
but I like a person who knows what they DON'T want, even more.

Some of them squatters could pass as darkies
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:56, Reply)

Ah, The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia
Went there as a medical lab officer for a 12 month job before I went back to university to do graduate entry medicine ... money was tremendous (especially given that I was only 21 at the time) but would I go back?

HELL NO.
(Medical_Male Say aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:47, Reply)

Likewise
There's a reason why the money's so good. If it wasn't, everybody would be on the first plane back!
(daizi last tried to escape on, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:55, Reply)

Listen, yeah', if you're going to copy'n'paste what he said, change the X and Y bits to the relivent bits of information.
Otherwise they might not know what you're talking about.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:54, Reply)

So what...
they should be XXX and more XXX?

That might work
(daizi last tried to escape on, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 14:02, Reply)

Have you seen that video of that panda that sneezes and scares its baby pandas?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:55, Reply)

Pandas can sneeze?

(daizi last tried to escape on, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:56, Reply)

Yeah',
Check this shit out.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:59, Reply)

Will do soon as I get back to the hotel
Seeing a mummy panda naked might excite the other engineers too much
(daizi last tried to escape on, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 14:01, Reply)

Can you play any instruments?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 14:02, Reply)

Only two
The one note flute and the one button keyboard.
(daizi last tried to escape on, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 14:04, Reply)

What songs can you play?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 14:05, Reply)

Skin flute more like it, you fucking deviant.

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 14:09, Reply)

He's a virtuoso on the 'pink oboe' too, I've heard.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 14:14, Reply)

I'm sure that the 'hairy banjo' is also part of his repertoire

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 14:18, Reply)

Gets lonely out here
And good camels are hard to find
(daizi last tried to escape on, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 14:31, Reply)