I feel almost exactly the same
However i get paid relatively very little for my contributions, but that is reflected in my input. However, that in itself is a vicious circle of boredom, inactivity and underachieving. I desperately need a new job, something in which I have a semblance of interest.

My wife is very driven and has achieved and surpassed every goal she has ever set herself. She comes home and start shooting the sit about what happened/is happening in her work and I can hold my own and even offer insights that her colleagues fail to spot. Then i think, fuck, i could work there, i could do that, i could get paid £40k, those folk sound like gormless cunts but have somehow managed to land on their feet and have been holding on for grim death ever since, terrified someone will find them out for the gormless cunts they actually are.

Over achieving and being in a job that exploits latent skills is a brilliantly positve position to be in. it can transform a person, make them walk more upright, enable them to look in the mirror and be happy with what they see. These things are out there, they just require faith in yourself.

However, the phrase, the cliche that is 'It's not what you know, it's who you know" rings loudly in me ears and the daily misery grinds me down a little more. I refuse to feel sorrow for myself though, because once you start down that road, then it's game over.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 10:43, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Fucking shit, innit?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 10:52, Reply)

It's not good, at all
Let's get pished, caned and stoned instead.

Fuck it all.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 15 Jan 2010, 10:55, Reply)