My good man, what a generous offer.
An offer you may live to regret however. Scottish vomit is notoriously difficult to get out of carpets.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 17:21, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Wooden floors thoughout, old bean.
I've had a 6'8" Swiss black man throw up ALL OVER my flat once, once you've seen that very little can scare you...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 17:28, Reply)

Excellent foresight there my good man.
And that truly is a LOT of black man to be vomiting all over the place. I assume he made a good job of covering all surfaces? I hope your cat escaped the fountain of effluence.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 17:39, Reply)

That was a fucking HILARIOUS night
He actually got stuck in my lavatory (it's like a cubicle) because he was so pissed and so enormously tall he couldn't turn round to get out, so he spewed all over himself and the wall and was there, trapped and eventually unconscious.

We had been to see a band of squatters from Bristol that evening, whose singer was a dwarf in a top hat.

Magic.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 17:41, Reply)

Top larks
Lucky he trapped himself in an easy to clean cupboard, also lucky you didn't need to release any dirty spine.

So just to recap, you went to see a band of squatters, with a midget in, accompanied by a 6'8" Swiss negro? If that night didn't end with someone vomitting themselves unconscious, then I would have been disappointed.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 17:52, Reply)

That's about the size of it, yes.
In the gig some chap spilled my pal's drink and was litterally shaking with fear (he had no idea my pal is the epitome of 'gentle giant') - he bought us all a round and gave my mate a half-ounce chunk of soap bar to apologise.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 18:06, Reply)

A half ounce of soapbar
Well that explains the vomiting then ;-)
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 19:18, Reply)