Make sure you get a second date
I went out with a girl a couple of weeks ago, we got on brilliantly, had a real laugh, but I never saw her again. I'm assuming she got a better offer
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:43, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I killed her and ate her.
Sorry about that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:45, Reply)

damn you
she was cuter than a kitten in a tutu, and she had a funny little crinkle in her forehead.

Did you keep any of her skin?
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Just the 'crinkle'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Awesome
I want to have sex with it
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:48, Reply)

You won't now, believe me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:50, Reply)

I'm going to sellotape it to my perineum
and rub my balls with windex
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Stop copying my 'act'
EDIT your post reminds me of the poem 'Tell Me Lies About Vietnam' by Adrian Mitchell.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:52, Reply)

I didn't realise that's what I was doing
I've barely read any of your posts, and have very little idea who you actually are.

EDIT and poetry's for woofters and womenfolk
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:53, Reply)

I meant the perineum/windex/testes routine....
EDIT I fucking hate poetry - it's almost invariably shit (apart from 'Ozymandias'). That Vietnam one is particularly awful - however if you Google the words you will see that 'rub my balls with Windex' would fit perfectly into it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:56, Reply)

oh, I see
didn't realise you'd trademarked it, old boy. I'll go back to Ronsealing my areoli
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:58, Reply)

It's my 'thing'
It's 'what I do'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 11:01, Reply)