My bestest friend is going to be on a new gameshow
called 'The Whole 19 Yards'. Vernon Kaye and Calista Caroline Flack are the presenters and apparently it's going to be like a mix of Gladiators and the Krypton Factor.

If you could twat anyone with a pugil stick, who would it be, and why?
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:32, 46 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Myself
My head feels like I did it anyway.

I got very drunk I mostly remember behaving. I even brought my hat home. It's what I can't remember saying that scares me.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:37, Reply)

what kind of hat is it?

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:42, Reply)

We had our work Christmas meal last night
and this was one of my Secret Santa presents.
White vinyl 60s cap.
I also got a soup bowl with a spoon holder handle, a cuddly scouse duck, and a vibrating cat toy.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:45, Reply)

that sounds like a budget version of the generation game

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:46, Reply)

I am a budget Isla Sinclair

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:54, Reply)

*googles*
*still has no idea*
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:00, Reply)

She was on the Generation Game
and was on telly a bit when I was a kid
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Miss Ford from the Generation Game
will always have a special place in my heart
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:02, Reply)

I never liked her
Too sweet to be wholesome if you ask me
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:11, Reply)

She looked like she'd had a few up her
and that's not a problem for me
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Her face was a bit Joyce Grenfell

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:14, Reply)

*googles again*
You're SO old
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:16, Reply)

I WILL CUT YOU!!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Aren't you 100,000?

( djtrialprice, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:18, Reply)

Yeah, I am actually
Some geek told me.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:21, Reply)

what's geeky about telling
someone their age in binary?

I'll get my coat
( djtrialprice, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Labcoat?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:30, Reply)

will you stick your fingers in the holes
and tell me I'm pretty?
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:20, Reply)

No.
I'll just stand on your head and go "OLD?? I'LL GIVE YOU OLD!!"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:21, Reply)

Oh go on then
It's been ages since I've had old
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Nah, nah
They had to be roasted by Brucie & Jim Davidson before they were allowed on the show. It was in the contract and everything.
( djtrialprice, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Isla Sinclair did NOT do that
And definitely not in her Fair Isle jumper.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:16, Reply)

agreed
Back in her day it was Brucie and Larry Grayson who were the "tag-team champions"
( djtrialprice, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:17, Reply)

"La la la la la"
*fingers in ears*
Stop besmirching her.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:21, Reply)

who the flack is Calista Flack?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:40, Reply)

Ooops, meant Caroline
I have no idea where Calista came from
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:41, Reply)

who is caroline flack?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:42, Reply)

Off kids' tv

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:43, Reply)

don't think I've seen any in some time
is she hot? is she annoying?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:45, Reply)

yes, she is
to both
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:45, Reply)

I like her
I liked her on TMI
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:48, Reply)

I like her too
but anyone that young is annoying to me
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:50, Reply)

nice chevron

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:53, Reply)

No it isn't

(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:26, Reply)

it was

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:31, Reply)

She's hot,
I have no idea what she's like, but she's probably annoying.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:48, Reply)

chevron?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:55, Reply)

she's a pretty, vacuous little thing
that would make a lovely ornament in my arbour
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:45, Reply)

Vip, you're shit.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:01, Reply)

I'd say he meant Caroline Flack
and not Calista Flockheart.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:42, Reply)

Googles
and would
( Peej, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:05, Reply)

chevron ruiner!

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:09, Reply)

There was nothing more to reply to!
*weeps*
( Peej, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 12:27, Reply)

I have a soft spot for her

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:11, Reply)

I have a rigid, throbbing point for her
*attempts secondary chevron*
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:16, Reply)

I was attempting that with my reply to Joe
but now roota's ruined that one too
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:17, Reply)

I'm a big ruiner

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:22, Reply)

*tries again*
_{I know, I really should try and do something useful with my morning...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:31, Reply)

My tattooist.
AFTER he's finished touching up the work he did last year. Because he's an evasive bastard and I've had to chase him constantly to come and fix his shit. Hopefully he'll consider re-inking my old tat is the same session. Then I'll get all Wolf on his ass.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:50, Reply)

what did you get done?

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:51, Reply)

this
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Is that wingdings?

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Yes, that's exactly what it is.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:04, Reply)

Ha!
Translation, please
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:06, Reply)

Solar system.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Ooooooh!
So what needs fixing? Are you having Pluto removed?
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:08, Reply)

Haha
I actually would, but I didn't include Pluto in the first place. The linework is pretty shit in places, half of the lines aren't solid and I've been chasing for six months to get it sorted. They only finally came to me when I wrote a shitty review for the shop on google.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Ooooh
which shop was it?

It looks alright, to me
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:13, Reply)

That was taken when it was still inky-scabby
so it doesn't look too bad. It's looks pretty sketchy now.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Were you picking at it?
A friend of mine got her wrist tattooed, picked at it and removed half the writing
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Nah.
I know how to treat a cut. I looked after it good and proper. In places you can see where he's got a good line right up next to a bad one. The other tattooist said it wasn't great work and was his fault so they'd sort it for free. Hopefully he'll re-ink my old tat in with the bargain.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 11:21, Reply)

ha
sorry
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:06, Reply)

No you're not.
Mictoboy beat him to it by about six months though.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:06, Reply)

dammit
I knew I was rubbish
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:07, Reply)

I am a little

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:32, Reply)

+teapot

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:42, Reply)

I would hit Vernon Kaye quite happily

But I would first have to dip the pugil stick in glue and broken glass a la Kickboxer
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:51, Reply)

He'd only defend himself
with his massive, indestructible teeth
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:54, Reply)

Just had a Hotshots Part Deux flashback
The bit where the guy he's fighting does that and he dips his hands in toffee and M&Ms and sprinkles. Mmm.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Myself......for being a complete tit last year until recently.
But I would put extra padding on so I wouldn't hurt myself too much. The gesture would be more symbolic than dangerous.
( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:01, Reply)

what did you do last year?

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:03, Reply)

Took being dumped badly and whinged about it constantly.

( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:09, Reply)

We've all been there
but not with you, like.

EDIT I got dropped back in November, and I'm only just starting to feel better about it now
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:12, Reply)

It's true what they say.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:18, Reply)

Balls.
My revenge is happiness in bucketloads.
Made better if you witness your ex's misfortune/stagnation afterwards.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:20, Reply)

Well I know for sure he will never be as happy as he could have been with me.
That cheers me up each day.
( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Innit tho

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:26, Reply)

why, what did you do?

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:21, Reply)

Nothing.
I just got very angry and spiteful.
( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Lovely
there really is nothing like a cup of vitriol to get you up in the morning
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:23, Reply)

True dat.
But I'm all sweetness and light now.
( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:24, Reply)

I'm taking back my pugil whack
Because I'm actually awesome.
I meant to look up Bruce Willis on IMDB to check I had the plot of Blind Date right.
I accidentally typed 'Bruce Willin' and thought "Hmm, that'd be a good porn name."
Well guess what? It is! He exists!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:08, Reply)

*recognition*

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Ta dude

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:56, Reply)

I would start, I think, with the cunt
who devised 'The Whole 19 Yards' presented by Vernon Kaye and Caroline Flack , then Bowie, then all of the other names I listed on that day I went mental on the face-punching tip.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:09, Reply)

You ain't done any pace punchin' for time now dude
I don't know why I'm speaking gangsta either.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Because you're too cool for school.

( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Pure
You too dude
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:18, Reply)

cool thick


*legs it*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:18, Reply)

Oi! Monty you cunt.

( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:20, Reply)

That's me!
*jazz hands*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:22, Reply)

I'm just regrouping ready for the 'big push'
when the fires of my wrath shall sweep the globe in a conflagration of justice (tm) bearing all before me save my chosen few, the generals of my army of spite.

The world will return to order as I rule with an iron fist. Then we can all have scones and jam for tea.

As you were.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:18, Reply)

Will you re-write all Channel 4's Top 100 lists?
Thanks.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:18, Reply)

Do I look like Jimmy fucking Carr?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:21, Reply)

I dunno
are you a fat-faced paedo?
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:23, Reply)

THIN-faced paedo, please.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:23, Reply)

I just thought you might like to make them smaller
And less wrong.
I can't be arsed. And I'd put too much Elkie Brooks in there.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:23, Reply)

You do the 80s
I'll do the rest, OK?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Deal

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:26, Reply)

that's three names I've never heard in one thread
it's like you're from an alternate universe, it really is
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:26, Reply)

I am
It's fucking ACE in here
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:27, Reply)

I love Elkie Brooks.
*sings*

Pearls a singer and she sings songs for the lost and the lonely......in a nightclub.
( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:26, Reply)

YES!
My godmother sings that but inserts my name in a mong voice.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:27, Reply)

*shakes head sadly*
Not exactly 'Sonic Attack', is it?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:27, Reply)

More like panic attack.

( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Guess what? I went on a date.
It was brilliant.

The end.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:33, Reply)

A date?
With a...female? With breasts and everything?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Giggity
Aaaaaall right.
( djtrialprice, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Everything?
A penis?
Oh Monty...
( thealternativefact, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:39, Reply)

It was MASSIVE.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:40, Reply)

*sighs*
You lucky boy.
( thealternativefact, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:40, Reply)

I don't find them attractive
just confusing
( djtrialprice, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:41, Reply)

You betcha.
It was most out of character. Normally I have to dig them up under cover of darkness.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Good for you.
Not the Polish girl?
( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Nah.
I never could quite be bothered with her, pretty as she was. I'm a massive racist, it would never have worked.

Still, I'd have had a clean flat, eh readers?

*winks*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:42, Reply)

*chortle*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:53, Reply)

Make sure you get a second date
I went out with a girl a couple of weeks ago, we got on brilliantly, had a real laugh, but I never saw her again. I'm assuming she got a better offer
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:43, Reply)

I killed her and ate her.
Sorry about that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:45, Reply)

damn you
she was cuter than a kitten in a tutu, and she had a funny little crinkle in her forehead.

Did you keep any of her skin?
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Just the 'crinkle'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Awesome
I want to have sex with it
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:48, Reply)

You won't now, believe me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:50, Reply)

I'm going to sellotape it to my perineum
and rub my balls with windex
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Stop copying my 'act'
EDIT your post reminds me of the poem 'Tell Me Lies About Vietnam' by Adrian Mitchell.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:52, Reply)

I didn't realise that's what I was doing
I've barely read any of your posts, and have very little idea who you actually are.

EDIT and poetry's for woofters and womenfolk
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:53, Reply)

I meant the perineum/windex/testes routine....
EDIT I fucking hate poetry - it's almost invariably shit (apart from 'Ozymandias'). That Vietnam one is particularly awful - however if you Google the words you will see that 'rub my balls with Windex' would fit perfectly into it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:56, Reply)

oh, I see
didn't realise you'd trademarked it, old boy. I'll go back to Ronsealing my areoli
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:58, Reply)

It's my 'thing'
It's 'what I do'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 11:01, Reply)

Go'ead Mont!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:45, Reply)

*does Frank Drebin baseball umpire celebration routine from The Naked Gun*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Ha!
I love those films!
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:48, Reply)

My father
is physically and personality-wise a cross between Leslie Nielsen and Leonard Nimoy.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:51, Reply)

your father is therefore the best person in the world
Police Squad was the greatest

"cigarette?"
"yes I know"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:54, Reply)

When I was a child
my brother and I were woken in the night and dragged downstairs by our father because 'Airplane' was on and he wanted us to see it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:57, Reply)

it is a glorious film
"I can make a brooch, a hat, or a pterodactyl!"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:58, Reply)

'Jimmy, do you like it when Scraps rubs up against you?'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 11:01, Reply)

"have you ever seen a grown man naked?"

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 11:18, Reply)

*does Baboon's victory dance*
I have a date later this month
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Good work young lady

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:57, Reply)

*crosses arms and looks sullen*
I want a date. What's fucking wrong with me?

(Apart from my atrocious spelling)
( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 10:58, Reply)

All you have to do is ask
not me, I mean generally. My dog has become an excellent ice-breaker, I get chatting to about a dozen different women every day now, but until I have the confidence to converse like an actual human being, or ask for a phone number, I'll stick to being on my own
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 11:01, Reply)

ice wind
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 11:02, Reply)

Can't I just punch men in the arm and run away.
That's the basis of my flirting technique.
( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 11:04, Reply)

It'd work on me
and I think most men would find it flattering. Although, if you punch a guy on his arm and he chases you, it might not be best to let him catch you
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 11:05, Reply)

Roota seems to be a man magnet and she's visiting me soon.
Maybe I can trap a stray one who approaches her.
( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Man-trapping?
Make sure you use plenty of Monkey Beer as bait
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 11:10, Reply)

I'll remember that : )

( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 11:11, Reply)

good for you

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Basically, anyone who gets in my way on the tube.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 11:10, Reply)

I did once...
twat Wolf with a pugil stick. It was at a car show in Redhill in about 1995. He had been beating up kids and parents all afternoon - he was one of the celebrities (the other two were Tiff Needell and Satoro Nakajimi who were demo'ing cars and scaring putners in test drives in TVRs)...

I was about a foot taller than Wolf (he's a belligerent midget in real life) and was playing rugby twice a week and doing weights every other day. I paid my £2, had a laugh, then he took it seriously and used the end to jab me in the nuts (these were the cheapo rental jobbies which were basically a couple of pillow wrapped around a scaffold pole, with a *hard* leather end). I got a bit angry and basically took him and his pugil stick off the podium through sheer momentum... I thought I'd be in trouble, but everyone just laughed and mutterd things like "twat - he deserved it". Wolf looked like he wanted to kill me, but had to smile and laugh it off in front of the kiddies.

Serves him right as he'd been a dirty cheating bastard in order to beat on people who were trying to have a bit of fun and raise money for the local hospice. Cock.
(Chad, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Perhaps you should think about who comes across as a cock in that story.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Was it Bono who was a cock?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Natch.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 11:45, Reply)

In fairness
I was 17 or so at the time, so cock-ishness is a pre-requisite at that age on my part, but I wasn't the 40 year old twatting kids in a spiteful manner at what was supposed to be a fun event for charity. Roid-rage'd fothermucker, that Wolf
(Chad, Wed 3 Mar 2010, 12:56, Reply)