I can't have a cuppa.
I've run out of milk.
God is punishing me.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 7:57, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

FFS
He'll be sending earthquakes next. Better watch out.

Morning all, by the way.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 8:20, Reply)

Mornin'
So the earthquakes in Chile and Haiti were due to milk shortages?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 8:22, Reply)

Yes
God saw that the peoples had been lazy and not bothered to stock up on milk. So he punished them by sending a mighty tremor.

He had considered flood or pestilence, but decided that earthquakes would garner more media attention.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 8:23, Reply)

Pestilence just doesn't have the X Factor anymore..

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 8:26, Reply)

God really is a git
But it does explain why dried milk is always the first aid to arrive.

You're a theological genius.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 8:28, Reply)

Yes
Although dried milk could also be seen as laziness, hence aftershocks.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 8:29, Reply)

What about Soya milk?
I think God is upset by this too.

It is really wrank.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 8:32, Reply)

Soya milk's not really milk
So it's probably worthy of some natural disaster too. God doesn't need reasons, of course. He just moves in his own mysterious ways.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 8:36, Reply)

I've got some in the fridge,
which certainly explains why I was ill.

I'll chuck it out when I get home.

You sure are wise K2k6.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 8:42, Reply)

It's the wisdom of years

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 8:49, Reply)