I think the main thing is to raise them well in the first place
Instilling in them a sense of self and the difference between right and wrong is obvious stuff, but you have to be committed and keep to your guns. I have been telling him since Primary 1 that he is responsible for his own actions, and the sooner he understands this the sooner he will grow up.

Therefore, yesterday, when i confronted him about the fag ends and he says "It wasn't my fault, it was X who smoked them", my head just dipped. I was wasting my time it seemed when I said that it was in fact HIM who allowed his pal to smoke then in the house and that it indeed was COMPLETELY his fault. There was a flicker of recognition, then it faded, to be replaced by "It wasn't my fault", in a slightly more whining voice. I just closed my door at that point.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:25, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

From experience
the 'quietly disappointed' stance is infinitely more effective than 'clearly angry'....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:20, Reply)

Yes, that worked for me
However, the vast majority of the time my son refuses to accept that X situation is clearly his fault. Eg, losing his keys, going out leaving the back door open, 'big boys' forcing him to drink a can of cider up the park. It is as if he is an innocent spectator to the gradual unfolding of his own life.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:33, Reply)