Teenage kicks
So my kid has been a teenager for a couple of months now and since getting on Facebook this school holiday her social life is exploding and she's meeting lots of new people and others she already knows from school.

Despite years of saying I'll be as cool as possible once she hits this stage of her life, I'm finding it 'interesting' letting her go and do her own thing. So, Off Topic people, to help me steel myself against the multitude of horrible things she'll get up to, tell me the worst things you got up to as a teenager.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:38, 81 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Your mum.
etc.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:42, Reply)

When I was 13 I joined a social networking site and got bummed by a bad man

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:42, Reply)

That's what Facebook's for, isn't it?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:45, Reply)

Stalking and being upset.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:47, Reply)

Sorry about that, I do feel terrible.
*leaves 400k to the Girl Guides in will*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:23, Reply)

I heard that last night.
What an ethical dilema.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:28, Reply)

I set fire to a lorry
on my way to church.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:43, Reply)

I also set fire to a lorry
trufax
( broadsword, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:07, Reply)

I like lorries

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:23, Reply)

For carrying the dead bodies of prostitutes?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:26, Reply)

shagged a ginger

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Community service?

( thealternativefact, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:52, Reply)

if by community service you mean I was really drunk on gin

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:10, Reply)

On one rather epic night
I drank tequila slammers and real ale before 7:30
got a taxi to a party, drank more.
Then was sick in the toilet.
Then went back to the table, was sick in the handbag of a friend.
Got put into a cab.
Couldn't get in the house so broke into the garage.
I passed out, woke up and was sick in my dads tool box.
Passed out, was sick on myself.
Then passed out again until my parents found me.
It was about 10:30, I was 16.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:44, Reply)

I think I read about that in the Citizen.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:45, Reply)

That's generally the level of news story they run.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:49, Reply)

NEWS: Bench in the wrong place!
www.miltonkeynes.co.uk/news/New-bench-is-way-off.6212135.jp
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:52, Reply)

I would like to sit on this bench.
I need to study mongs as part of my degree; where better than MK?
( thealternativefact, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:56, Reply)

The south west?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Not really - wrong kind of mongery.
I want people fucked up by environment, not biology.
( thealternativefact, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Shouldn't you be looking at poor communities with high unemployment then?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:09, Reply)

Poverty means fucked up people?
Nice view from up there?
( thealternativefact, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Yeah it's alright, I can see things coming a mile off.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Sicko

( thealternativefact, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:28, Reply)

How can you stand the excitement?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Better than "another teenager stabbed" at least.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Depends on the teenager
Shurely?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:01, Reply)

*Click* for the handbag

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:47, Reply)

thanks, my dad was more annoyed about his tools.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:52, Reply)

I would have been too
but handbags are funny.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:55, Reply)

Wanked loads
And played my SNES.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:45, Reply)

Peach makes me horny too.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:47, Reply)

I skived off school for a day with my best mate and my girlfriend
we trashed a Ferrari by mistake but we all learnt important lessons and my sister stopped being a bitch.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:47, Reply)

Nice work.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:48, Reply)

A friend and I used a computer to make a woman.
Then we had a big party, and there was a missile or something.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:50, Reply)

Well me and my mates found a treasure map that led us to a pirate ship full of gold!
We had a run in with some mean adults and the fat one adopted a spastic.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:55, Reply)

Yeah, well me and my best friend met this guy from the future who helped us with our history project
And we went back in time in a phone box and met two bodacious medieval babes who joined our band.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:08, Reply)

It sounds like you had a most excellent time.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:11, Reply)

We did!
*air guitars*
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:21, Reply)

I fucked a pie

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:10, Reply)

the responses to the above are all superb
I applaud you all
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:13, Reply)

I was the kind of teenager all parents wish they had.
Bookish, polite, reasonably intelligent, did my homework, got decent results, didn't drink or smoke, took martial arts quite seriously (and revelled in the spiritual side of it). Then I went to University and discovered that most vices were most enjoyable.

So I suppose the worst thing I did as a teenager was going to University.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:48, Reply)

I was a very well behaved teenager apart from bunking off school most of the time.
It was only when I hit my mid twenties that the naughtiness started.
( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:55, Reply)

I fell out of a 1st floor window when I was pissed

I landed on my arse in soft ground and walked away without a scratch. leaving behind a 6 inch deep impression of my arse in the ground.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:57, Reply)

of in in the ground
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:01, Reply)

impression cock
( broadsword, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Happy candleday Broadsword

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:22, Reply)

I was much worse behaved in my 20s and 30s
Only last year I turned up at my parents house at 6am with a broken foot, club-sludge and bruises all over my arms and in tears because I'd lost my flat keys.
My dad opened a couple of cans, gave me a hug, called me a dickhead, got me some pyjamas and flung me to bed.

Worst I did at 16 was get a bit tipsy and lez it up with my best friend. At least they knew I wasn't going to come home pregnant.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:01, Reply)

Expelled from 3 schools
by the age of 13.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:01, Reply)

You was a bwad bwoy

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:05, Reply)

Yep.
Regret it now. Basically I used to get extremely bored & continually misbehave and was very gobby.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:09, Reply)

I was worse in my 20s and 30s as well
Worst I did in my teens was run away to London - I lived in Essex, so not a massive trek really - to follow my favourite bands, have sex with said band members, fail my GCSE's spectacularly first time round and get drunk and stoned lots.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:04, Reply)

I started drinking my pal's mother's homemade wine at 13
Was smoking weed pretty much daily shortly afterwards, took 3 hits of LSD a weekend for about a year aged 15 and hung out with crusty vagrant types who lived in buses and army lorries; I'd switched to ecstasy and raves by the time I hit 17 and by 19 had begun to take cocaine on a regular basis.

But I turned out just fine, you've definitely got nothing to worry about.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:06, Reply)

OH FUCK!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:08, Reply)

Despite all that
I managed to get a reasonable degree, my own flat and a reasonably well-paid (if grievous) job. I have a fantastic, really close and entirely functional relationship with all of my family and am actually in reasonable nick, so it's not all bad news.

Mind you this may be because I am A FUCKING HARDNUT: plenty of lesser mortals have fallen by the wayside along the way.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Oh mate, if she turns out like you I'll be...
Quite chuffed.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:15, Reply)

*searches for mouseover text*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:18, Reply)

Are you of Border Reiver stock by any chance?

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Hahaha I am precisely that!
That's slightly unnerved me.

We were the top end, though: Wardens of the Marches or somesuch.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Hm. Poacher turned gamekeeper by any chance?
Just piecing together various bits of info you've let drop. I could make a guess but I won't. This is more fun.

You could be a Tweedie relative. That made me LoL (snort really).
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:42, Reply)

You are bang on the money (apart from the Tweedie bit).

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:02, Reply)

I also am of Reiver stock. By way of the midlands, lancashire and the eastern march.
A little known family but absolute villains.

Your ancestors probably killed mine. Or were killed, as was the fashion in those days.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:13, Reply)

I wa to to be reiver stock too
Where do I sign up?
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:06, Reply)

The Borders, Monders old chum.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:14, Reply)

That craft and hobby outlet?
Sounds a bit shirter mcshirty that. Don't think I'll bother. Cheers though!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:50, Reply)

My first drunken outing was
facilitated by me stealing a finger of every spirit in my parents cupboard, so that they would notice and mixing it all together.

I did a sick :O=
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:09, Reply)

Many regrets, to be honest
Started drinking and having sex at 13, sniffing petrol and other inhalants at 14, magic mushrooms at 15 and it all went downhill from there.

Coincidentally, i was also gonna start teenagers thread. My son will be 14 in July and has already run the gamut of teenagery things, and I am keeping a very beady eye on him. When i was growing up, being a teenager, i lived with my gran and granda, who where a generation away from me and my exploits. With me and my son, I know exactly the sort of shit that is going on in his mind and can preempt the type of caper he will be getting up to and hopefully corrale him into a more mature way of dealing with things, people and situations he will inevitably find himself in.

Went home yesterday to find the back door unlocked, the bathroom window wide open and 2 fag ends in the toilet. I phoned him and he claimed it was his pal who had smoked them. I countered with he could not prove this and I couldn't prove he DID have one of the fags himself. His belligerence was astounding, however, no internet for a week will hopefully cool his jets.

Teenagers = a right royal pain in the fucking arse.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Good luck mate
I am afeared of what I may have to expect from my 'broken home, raised in the East End' daughter. Petrified.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:03, Reply)

Kidnap her and remove her to your Northern Fastness.
Southern pansies would not dare follow you.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I think the main thing is to raise them well in the first place
Instilling in them a sense of self and the difference between right and wrong is obvious stuff, but you have to be committed and keep to your guns. I have been telling him since Primary 1 that he is responsible for his own actions, and the sooner he understands this the sooner he will grow up.

Therefore, yesterday, when i confronted him about the fag ends and he says "It wasn't my fault, it was X who smoked them", my head just dipped. I was wasting my time it seemed when I said that it was in fact HIM who allowed his pal to smoke then in the house and that it indeed was COMPLETELY his fault. There was a flicker of recognition, then it faded, to be replaced by "It wasn't my fault", in a slightly more whining voice. I just closed my door at that point.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:25, Reply)

From experience
the 'quietly disappointed' stance is infinitely more effective than 'clearly angry'....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:20, Reply)

Yes, that worked for me
However, the vast majority of the time my son refuses to accept that X situation is clearly his fault. Eg, losing his keys, going out leaving the back door open, 'big boys' forcing him to drink a can of cider up the park. It is as if he is an innocent spectator to the gradual unfolding of his own life.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:33, Reply)

And don't sweat it if she gets into peircings later on.
Let her have one or two. It's only a hole and it'll heal up afterwards.
( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:14, Reply)

Please tell this to my mother.
I got my ears pierced for the first time - the basic lobe piercing - a few weeks ago and she went nuts.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:15, Reply)

But you're 19?
Tell her to fuck right off. I came with my first tattoo at 16 and my mum basically said "You're 16 now, I can't tell you what to do even if I'm not happy about it"
( Peej, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:59, Reply)

I'm still a teenager for the next six months so I can't tell you the worst thing I did as a teenager.
But so far, most of them seem to have involved nudity and being in public.
I was closet-naughty at home thanks to my strict parents, so Uni has really brought out the real me... getting shit faced a lot and having a fair amount of fuck buddies.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 10:14, Reply)

are you still going to be a teenager when you meet Al?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Every time you reply to Al it takes five minutes off your life.
He's like internet Marlboro.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Yes.
Oh dear, I don't like where this is going.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Genocide.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Insecticide.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:52, Reply)