I tell them I'm so homosex that I've gone full circle and only fuck girls that wear dungarees and have clits like a chimp's thumb

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 13:15, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I imagine that works brilliantly

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 13:20, Reply)

sometimes I wipe my nose on my sleeve and scream at flying mammals whilst poining with horror
I then hide my head under my coat so their gay song doesn't corrupt my trousers.

p.s. Have you gushed like a broken fleshy hydrant and pushed your chair back against the wall in sexual ecstasy yet?
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 13:23, Reply)

Phwoooooar.
I'm getting turned on just reading about it. You must be fighting off hoards of laydeez with a pointy stick
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 13:26, Reply)

pretty much. I use a baguette with a shoe on the end

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 13:29, Reply)

The images I'm getting from this are fantastic.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 13:32, Reply)

you should see my dried pasta pictures

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 13:35, Reply)

What are they of?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 13:38, Reply)

Dried pasta innit.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 13:39, Reply)

I just finished one of you
but it's only of your mouth, boobies and pobber.

It's a special bedtime private pasta picture, no one is allowed to see it, as it's not all stuck down...yet.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 13:43, Reply)

Exciting.
Do I not even get to see it?
You should make it 3D. More interactive that way.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 13:49, Reply)

it's constructed inside a kitchen roll tube

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 13:50, Reply)

You're too clever for your own good.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 13:52, Reply)

I know

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 13:56, Reply)

With your own natural glue
I was going to write some melting you down for glue joke. but now I am just going to go

AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGA
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 13:53, Reply)

STOP CHANGING GEAR WITH MY BROOM-ON!

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 13:56, Reply)