I have a personal, if slightly far-fetched, vendetta against Lost
You know those sort of occasions when a few people have crashed at your place after a night out, and there are always a few who insist on outstaying their welcome the following day?

I thought I'd dropped enough hints that even someone with crippling undiagnosed Asperger's would have realised I wanted them to bugger off, but apparently not. Eventually I managed to get them to shift off my sofa, saying,
"Sure, I'll walk you to the station, let me just get my keys..."
and as I went to fetch said keys, I heard one of them say to the other,
"So did you say you were into Lost?"
Half a fucking hour later, they're still there, having not even moved their arses, talking about fucking Lost, whilst I stood by the front door, not-very-subtly playing with my keys.

Lost: keeping people on my sofa unnecessarily since 2010.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:27, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm quite good at getting rid of house guests who have outstayed their welcome
I just say, "Sorry, I don't mean to kick you out but i've got important things to do". It's a complete lie, I DO mean to kick them out and the 'important thing' is lounging around drinking tea.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:33, Reply)

Time to go, fucko.
Usually works for me
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:43, Reply)

My father used to get up from the dinner table
and fuck off into the kitchen to start washing up if his guests tarried too long or were boring. My mother used to find this excruciating but it certainly worked.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:47, Reply)

Did he get up from the table with a well timed 'Harumph'

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:49, Reply)

Indeed so.
Followed by a sigh and a sorry shaking of the head as he left the room, tapping his watch and holding it up to his ear...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:57, Reply)

My guests usually fuck off of their own accord, looking a bit scared, eventually.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:49, Reply)

Yes, the ones that don't end up in the Fritzl Suite

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:51, Reply)

Those that can leave, do.
Those that can't, START PRAYING.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:58, Reply)

:-)
Is at this point you reach for the Laminated Prayer Sheets ?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:00, Reply)

I was going to say that part of the problem was they weren't really my guests in the first place, rather they were my flatmate's
But thinking about it, that does make the "Lord's Prayer Technique" seem like an even more viable option...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:08, Reply)

some people just don't like hearing the Lord's prayer

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:51, Reply)

*tsk* some people, eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:59, Reply)

I know
Godless heathens
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:10, Reply)

Disappearing to the bathroom and returning wearing a nightshirt and nightcap
and carrying a candle is bound to move the evening on one way or another.
(Cave Duck, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:54, Reply)

they may start calling you Jack B Nimble though

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Given your micropenis
'Wee Willie Winkie' might be more appropriate.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:58, Reply)

How about Wee Willy Harris?
A fifties rocker who's mentioned in an Ian Dury song - everyone's happy.
(Cave Duck, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:03, Reply)

damnit
that was the other name that I was thinking of that eluded me.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:03, Reply)

There is a brand of skinless sausage up here called 'Wee Willie Winkies'
An absolute bastard to grill, as they fall through the wire mesh and are rendered MIA
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:08, Reply)

scotland is an odd place
I shall enjoy seeing it up close from friday onwards
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:09, Reply)

It is indeed
Stay away from the major cities and you should be just fine.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:16, Reply)

no worry there

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:18, Reply)