Christ I must be poor, I'm eligible for working tax credits.
What are you eligible for aside from the scrap yard or a mental institution and do you take full advantage of this?

Alt: Who else on here is captivated by the final season of Lost?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:53, 130 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'll soon be eligable for HRT.

( girlinthehole, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:54, Reply)

High fives

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:57, Reply)

HRT?
Human resources transplant?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:58, Reply)

I should check if I'm eligible for those, I doubt I am though
middle class white men on decent wages aren't allowed benifits.
It's broken britain.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:54, Reply)

I don't think the colour makes any difference there
Unless you were green and could call that a disability
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:57, Reply)

colour makes all the difference,
it's racism against whites.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:58, Reply)

You can't really believe that
Not when talking about benefits. A black guy with your same wages and in your same position wouldn't get anything either.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:59, Reply)

No I don't believe that,
I'm not an idiot.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:00, Reply)

I slowed down to let a bloke pull out of a side street at lunchtime
so I'll be fine for any benefits that are "mean-tested"
(Cave Duck, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:15, Reply)

Get the fuck out

(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:22, Reply)

is the right answer.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:24, Reply)

He was black, you utter racists.

(Cave Duck, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:29, Reply)

I'm eligible for disability because of my eyesight
But it would be taking the piss to claim
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:56, Reply)

So that's why you're on here. You thought it was the Hello kitty website

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:57, Reply)

Hahaha
I drank Cherry Coke last night driving back from central london. But only 'cos the stupid shop didn't have Irn-Bru.
( djtrialprice, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:59, Reply)

Not because you're a horrific pervert then!

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:00, Reply)

I assure you
that's just a coincedence
( djtrialprice, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:02, Reply)

I wish it still had that naughty stuff in that used to make me drunk when I was a kid.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:00, Reply)

that wasn't drunkeness
Cherry Coke- secret ingredient Rohypnol
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:04, Reply)

No, really
Cherry Coke used to make me all drunk-like.
Or my mum made cracking Jesus Juice.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:05, Reply)

Jesus Juice?!
That sounds foul, what is it?
Edit: how was it dispensed?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:09, Reply)

Jesus Juice was what MJ called Coke with red wine in
when he was letting the nippers drink in Neverland.
ALLEGEDLY.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:13, Reply)

Shhhhhhh
The zombie Michael Jackson will travel back through time and diddle you!
( djtrialprice, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:14, Reply)

*bawk*
Pack that in.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:18, Reply)

I always thought there was something not-quite-right
about the facial expression of Santa Claus in those Coke adverts...now I've realised what the filthy bastard's up to.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:15, Reply)

yuck
though apparantly I used to quite regularly pour wine into my Ribena when my parents backs were turned
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:17, Reply)

Red wine and Coke is actually quite nice
I think it's called calimucho
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:18, Reply)

why would you ruin wine by pouring coke in it?
or coke by pouring wine in it?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:20, Reply)

Calimocho
You do it to improve bad wines, the ones you buy in boxes, at 50p/litre
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:22, Reply)

has buying better wine not occurred to anyone?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:23, Reply)

I'd never even thought
about mixing coke and wine before this
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:25, Reply)

nor me

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:29, Reply)

I didn't until I was offered it
I was a nay-sayer like you, but now I admit it is alright.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:31, Reply)

You use cheap wine
Good for parties in the younger days.
Also when I went out with a mingebag we sometimes used that method to spread the wine further.

Nice in summer too. Just try it.

EDIT: Thank God there's a senorita in the house!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:23, Reply)

Rohypnol?
Edit: Hmmm...mindpiss.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:05, Reply)

I know someone who found out she was eligible for disability
because her 6-year-old son is a destructive, disobedient little shit. Now she gets an extra £360 a month on top of her £30k+ income and isn't sure what to spend it on, except another holiday.

I mean, what extra expenses do you incur by having an ADHD kid? Broken ornaments and laptop screens do not, in my book, count as expenses necessitating benefits.
(WillI'mNot logs in twice a year, every year, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:00, Reply)

The inability to walk to school or behave in vehicles
Means having a taxi journey with a trained social worker escort.

/neighbour with adhd kid.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:24, Reply)

I fucking love Lost
I love the fact that I still don't know what the fuck is going on
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 15:59, Reply)

I NO RITE!1!!!!1

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:00, Reply)

it's great
people complain that it's shit because they don't explain anything. I think it is masterful writing that despite not explaining anything they've moved the story on and kept me quite captivated for 6 series.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:02, Reply)

I'm eligible for sod all me
I'm a useless slattern.
But a damn charming one, eh?
How's yourself, letterslady?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:00, Reply)

I'm not well, so I've come home to watch stuff I've downloaded and get some much needed sleep

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:00, Reply)

I like it when you have a rest
I feel anxious sometimes thinking about how hard you work.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:01, Reply)

I don't work that hard....well ok I do, but I do rest as often as I can too.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:08, Reply)

Good
I hope you are reclining with the cat right now
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:12, Reply)

I was in bed for 8pm last night, asleep in five minutes.
Woke up at 5am, ready for work, then went back to sleep. It was like a Sunday, but it was really a Tuesday. Top fucking class.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:10, Reply)

I wish I could do that
if I go to bed early I just lie there until the time I normally go to bed, then go to sleep.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:24, Reply)

I don't think I'm eligible for anything tax wise
and I don't watch Lost
tell me why you like it?
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:05, Reply)

I love it because like a good man it leaves me always wanting more.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:07, Reply)

well too bad this is the last season, eh?
and why would a good man leave you wanting more?
I think that'd be a bad man
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:09, Reply)

yeah surely a good man would give you all that you need
and then give you more
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:09, Reply)

My philosophy precisely.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:23, Reply)

Good
cause I was lost [lolol] for a second
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:25, Reply)

*puts on Dr Hook*
*waggles eyebrows suggestively*
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:30, Reply)

Fwoar, Dr Hook

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:31, Reply)

When your body's had enough of me
And I'm layin' flat out on the floor
When you think I've loved you all I can
I'm gonna love you a little bit more
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:31, Reply)

Deedle eedle eedle ewwwww
Deedle eeedle eedle ewwww
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:33, Reply)

Best shag of my life -
We're laying there after. Sweaty and gasping. She said 'I'm fucked', which gaves us the giggles. And laughter is an excellent aphrodisiac ...
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:36, Reply)

Indeed
Like booze and Dr Hook
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:37, Reply)

you make my pants want to get up and dance

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:38, Reply)

You make my face wanna grin!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:40, Reply)

you make my knees wanna kneel down say please

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:41, Reply)

Honey won't you kiss me again
Who can NOT smile and dance and feel frisky at that?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:43, Reply)

no one, that's who
despite my hatred of karaoke, I suggest that if the situation ever arises you and I should sing a duet of this.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:44, Reply)

Can I wear the eyepatch?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:45, Reply)

yes

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Deal!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:46, Reply)

*trigger fingers*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:48, Reply)

I was sitting all alone
Watching people get it on
With each other
My pants were dancin' cross the floor
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:43, Reply)

I just BURST OUT LAUGHING

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:45, Reply)

I'm taking notes, you know.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:39, Reply)

For when I get dumped?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:40, Reply)

Never happen, sweets. No worries.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:42, Reply)

:)
It will when he discovers I have three kids all in Social Services care
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:44, Reply)

I'll never tell.
What did you do with the other two?
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:47, Reply)

Thanks
I went out for tapas and they just vanished
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:56, Reply)

I really don't know what just happened here but I'm a bit creeped out

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:36, Reply)

hahaha
the power of the Hook
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:37, Reply)

Dr Hook sounds like a fucking murderer

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:41, Reply)

or a Bond villain

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:42, Reply)

or an abortionist

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:42, Reply)

you're a delight

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:43, Reply)

He was a crap juggler, mind.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:45, Reply)

true

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:45, Reply)

makes me think of jack the ripper

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:44, Reply)

or an Imam

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:51, Reply)

I'm eligible
for a handicapped tag for my car, so now I can park in the spaces reserved for the gimps and cripples and old farts.

(All of which describe me at the moment.)

It's kinda funny sitting in my car in one of those parking spaces for a moment with my daughter,because we get incredibly dirty looks from people for being young and healthy and taking one of those spaces- until I put up the tag and pull out the crutches, at which point they slink off in embarrassment.

My tag is good for six months, and I intend to use it up to the end.
( Wanderer, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:13, Reply)

I love mine. I only use it on bad pain days,
but it sure comes in handy. Oh, and if you have to park on a meter, that's free ;)
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:27, Reply)

I'm eligible for some kind of medal from the Colombian government
for services to their black market economy. Similarly Nepal, Pakistan and Morocco.

EDIT: I tried watching Lost when it started but found it to be fucking shit. That really fat cunt was quite amusing though, I remember thinking 'if they start eating each other, that fucker's had it'.

Did they start eating each other?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:16, Reply)

they did not
he is still quite amusing though

and has mysteriously not lost any weight.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:22, Reply)

Well...I'm an eligible batchelor (Hello ladies)
I love lost. I also love that I forget that there is a new series, but every saturday afternoon my mate turns up with his laptop and we watch it. Every Saturday is like Christmas, except I don't have to deal with my family.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:18, Reply)

I'm eligible for bugger all
and I have never watched Lost. I'm a right boring sod, me.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:25, Reply)

nah Lost is quite boring
not worth the time it takes to get into it. Watch something fastpaced and pretty for eyecandy instead
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:27, Reply)

I have a personal, if slightly far-fetched, vendetta against Lost
You know those sort of occasions when a few people have crashed at your place after a night out, and there are always a few who insist on outstaying their welcome the following day?

I thought I'd dropped enough hints that even someone with crippling undiagnosed Asperger's would have realised I wanted them to bugger off, but apparently not. Eventually I managed to get them to shift off my sofa, saying,
"Sure, I'll walk you to the station, let me just get my keys..."
and as I went to fetch said keys, I heard one of them say to the other,
"So did you say you were into Lost?"
Half a fucking hour later, they're still there, having not even moved their arses, talking about fucking Lost, whilst I stood by the front door, not-very-subtly playing with my keys.

Lost: keeping people on my sofa unnecessarily since 2010.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:27, Reply)

I'm quite good at getting rid of house guests who have outstayed their welcome
I just say, "Sorry, I don't mean to kick you out but i've got important things to do". It's a complete lie, I DO mean to kick them out and the 'important thing' is lounging around drinking tea.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:33, Reply)

Time to go, fucko.
Usually works for me
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:43, Reply)

My father used to get up from the dinner table
and fuck off into the kitchen to start washing up if his guests tarried too long or were boring. My mother used to find this excruciating but it certainly worked.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:47, Reply)

Did he get up from the table with a well timed 'Harumph'

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:49, Reply)

Indeed so.
Followed by a sigh and a sorry shaking of the head as he left the room, tapping his watch and holding it up to his ear...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:57, Reply)

My guests usually fuck off of their own accord, looking a bit scared, eventually.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:49, Reply)

Yes, the ones that don't end up in the Fritzl Suite

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:51, Reply)

Those that can leave, do.
Those that can't, START PRAYING.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:58, Reply)

:-)
Is at this point you reach for the Laminated Prayer Sheets ?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:00, Reply)

I was going to say that part of the problem was they weren't really my guests in the first place, rather they were my flatmate's
But thinking about it, that does make the "Lord's Prayer Technique" seem like an even more viable option...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:08, Reply)

some people just don't like hearing the Lord's prayer

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:51, Reply)

*tsk* some people, eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:59, Reply)

I know
Godless heathens
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:10, Reply)

Disappearing to the bathroom and returning wearing a nightshirt and nightcap
and carrying a candle is bound to move the evening on one way or another.
(Cave Duck, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:54, Reply)

they may start calling you Jack B Nimble though

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Given your micropenis
'Wee Willie Winkie' might be more appropriate.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:58, Reply)

How about Wee Willy Harris?
A fifties rocker who's mentioned in an Ian Dury song - everyone's happy.
(Cave Duck, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:03, Reply)

damnit
that was the other name that I was thinking of that eluded me.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:03, Reply)

There is a brand of skinless sausage up here called 'Wee Willie Winkies'
An absolute bastard to grill, as they fall through the wire mesh and are rendered MIA
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:08, Reply)

scotland is an odd place
I shall enjoy seeing it up close from friday onwards
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:09, Reply)

It is indeed
Stay away from the major cities and you should be just fine.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:16, Reply)

no worry there

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:18, Reply)

We would be eligible for Child Tax Credits
but given the monumental fuck up that the Inland Revenue made with the missus' Working Tax Credits a few years ago, we haven't bothered. For the sake of an extra £30 a month or whatever it would work out at, we'd rather not have the hassle of them sending letters every couple of months telling us we've ben overpaid to the tune of 'x'.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 16:59, Reply)

£30 per month
Get in amongst it, that's about a slab of Super Strength Lager you're missing out on. Every month!
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:04, Reply)

Honestly not worth the effort.
They are incompetent fuckwanks of the highest order.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:06, Reply)

I'm eligible for fucking loads
including the laptop I'm writing this on.

Income Support
Child Tax Credit
Housing Benefit
Council Tax Benefit
Child Benefit
Legal Aid (to take the ex-girlfriend to court so I can see my son again)
Home Access Grant (free lappy and mobile dongle)
free 12-month college course in Plumbing
Discretionary Student Fund bought all my plumbing tools
And I get free swimming and go 3 or 4 times a week.

After the ex-gf cleared off last year I realised that I'd not actually be any worse off not working, so I handed my notice in. The way I look at it, I've paid in to the system for 20 years so I'm going to take everything I can out of it for a year before going back to being a number for the next 30 or so.

On the down side, I'm permanently skint, my daughter and I live on Tesco Value everything and things like Sky+, holidays, days out or even meals out are a distant memory.

Oh, and I've never seen Lost.
(WillI'mNot logs in twice a year, every year, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:12, Reply)

My doctor just signed approval for medical marijuana for me.
Which is ace, especially as today is 4/20!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:26, Reply)

Nice
Repeat prescriptions all round
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:29, Reply)

Booya!
And if you want it to be long acting time-release, make a loaf of zucchini bread and substitute 1/4 cup powdered pot for 1/4 cup of the flour called for. I knew someone who did that and was stoned for two days. She used a coffee grinder to grind the pot into dust.

Undoubtedly better for you than inhaling smoke.
( Wanderer, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 17:46, Reply)

I don't mean to be personal
but what condition do you need to have (or pretend to have) to get that? I wish I lived in CA sometimes.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 18:00, Reply)

Well, personally, I've had osteoarthritis since I was 12 and am in pain
on a daily basis - I can't get around a shopping mall without a cane, Vegas usually requires two canes or a wheelchair. My doctor has been offering to sign off on it for years but I've always said no, until I actually started smokin again a couple weeks ago and found it does help with the pain management.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 18:04, Reply)

I'll bet there are bent doctors who are prepared to 'help out'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 18:07, Reply)

Yeah, I know people who have nothing wrong with them
but claim a "bad back" or whatever.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 18:12, Reply)

how the hell do you fish like that

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 18:08, Reply)

Most of it's sitting down, Kristine.
It's called baiting and waiting - you throw your line out, sit back, crack open a beer, wait to get a bite and then it takes all of 2 minutes to bring it in!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 18:11, Reply)

I read that as "look, stupid, blah blah blah beer blah blah"

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 19:11, Reply)