This explains so much, Monty.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:39, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Then there was
headmaster Mr Beacham who accidentally sawed one of his feet off with a chainsaw (this was 100% true), Mrs Riley aka 'cyclops' who had a glass eye, Mr Lee who was a raving bender who wore brown socks and sandals and rode around the upper playground in his Sinclair C5, Mr Ogier who was from the Channel Islands and had been a captive of the Nazis as a boy, Mr Ashmead who suffered from enormous facial boils and Mr Davies aka 'Onion', who was 'a Jew'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:47, Reply)