Voiceover?
Like a David Attenborough style commentary?

"Here, we see that the blue sofa, which has probably been in this cheap, run-down rented appartment for some years and is stained with more than its fair share of semen and lubricant, is playing host to a trio of fornicating homo sapiens, one of whom has likely had her mammaries enhanced with some form of silicon-based compound. The mating position they have assumed is, it's fair to say, somewhat unnatural. The two males of the species seem to be unaware that their attempt to feritlise the female will be ineffective, as they ejaculate in her colon and over her face respectively..."
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 7 May 2010, 11:56, Reply)