I vaguely remember Physics A-Level ...
... so I think you've managed to get the phone number of the factory just outside either Cambridge or Oxford (can't remember which) that makes smooth inclined planes, frictionless surfaces, and point masses.

If you can manufacture, purchase or otherwise come by a perfectly inelastic, arbitrarily long string, then I'm thinking that the folks who want to make space elevators (amongst many other cool things, from a scientific viewpoint) would be extremely keen to talk to you. :-)
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Thu 27 May 2010, 0:55, Reply)