I've had cocaine blown up my arse.
But it was by a monumentally tidy woman. So that makes it perfectly OK in my book*

*'Monty Boyce's Bumper Book of Deviancy'. In all good shops now.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 11:10, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I have no response to this other than I have just spat Rio over my screen laughing.
edit - click
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 11:11, Reply)

I wish I could pretend that I wouldn't buy that
but I so would. Am also intrigued as to the comparative benefits of absorbing cocaine via the anus rather than the nostril, if you'd care to divulge
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 11:13, Reply)

thin membrane up your arse innit.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Only 'cause his has been practically worn through by an endless series of penises and plastic action figures

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Any particular plastic action figures?
I imagine a ken or barbie may be fairly uncomfortable but an army figurine? could be ok.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Two Gamorrean Guards and an Ewok.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 11:30, Reply)

In what formation you savage?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Testudo.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 11:48, Reply)

It's a fairly thin membrane with plenty of blood vessels near the surface
much like the nostril in that respect. When you simply cannot fit any more up your nose, it's an option. Just ask Stevie Nicks. And Kate Moss.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Does it work the other way round?
i.e., have Stevie or Kate ever been DP'ed up the nose?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 11:17, Reply)

It's easier to ask you. See above for details
So it's a backup plan rather than a preferential method of administration?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 11:18, Reply)

For me, yes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Met a chap at InFest who was banging on about the wonders of DMT
Thought of you. Not least since he had blue hair, was wearing a LOT of make-up, and was deep in a K-hole at the time
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Ugh.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 11:30, Reply)

That's what I said when I was offered some
I was quite sufficiently off my tits without any help of that nature, thank you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 11:31, Reply)

k-hole = ketamine?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Fucking filthy stuff.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Indeed
Also, K-Hole = AVOID

In my opinion
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 11:38, Reply)

dude I smoke weed and eat mushrooms when available
I only have one kidney so tend to stay away from chemically shit.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 11:42, Reply)

I suppose you sold the other one to pay for your vile habits?

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 16 Sep 2010, 16:30, Reply)

DMT is not a party drug.
It's closer to a religious vision and not to be taken lightly.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 11:39, Reply)

The more I hear of this DMT stuff the less inclined I am to indulge
As I was saying to bobby the other day, my hedonistic MASSIVE DRUGS days are well and truly behind me, to the extent that InFest weekend was a remarkably isolated incident over the course of the last 18 months. so it'd probably kill me

/end clever ploy to encourage Monty to get me some DMT
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 11:44, Reply)

It's really, really heavy duty.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 11:47, Reply)

am googling it now, never heard of DMT

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 11:48, Reply)

I have to say it's the most incredible substance I've ever taken.
Like taking about 100 hits of LSD - for about 5 minutes.

I am faintly evangelical about it. Each time I have smoked it, it's done me the power of good. Really good for positive mental outlook and a general feeling of wellbeing. When it wears off you see the world afresh -but there's also a definite element of being relieved that you are 'back in the room' too.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Reading the chemistry behind it
looks quite interesting. Like I said above I stick to weed and mushrooms. I want to try opium but have never met anyone who can get me any.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 11:55, Reply)

It's fucking great, unfortunately.
You can see how China was fucking ruined by it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 11:59, Reply)

I will def do it when I get the chance.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Sep 2010, 12:00, Reply)