I spent an hour shouting fruitlessly at TalkTalk (not the band)
earlier, and they've just had the nerve to send me a questionnaire entitled 'how did we do?' - with predictable results.

Sample: 'We would like you to tell us what we should keep doing?'

Ans: 'You should walk to the edge of the cliffs of Dover - and keep going. PS 'We would like you to tell us what we should keep doing' is not a question and thus does not require a question mark.'

Etc
Poor cunts
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 17:23, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I had one like that with Virgin Media
They asked: "How happy were you with the way we fixed your problem?"
My answer: "Well, I'd obviously have been a lot happier if there hadn't been a problem of your making in the first place."
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 17:25, Reply)

My favourite reply
was to 'how do you think we could best improve our customer service?': 'you should sell your customer accounts to your nearest competitor, close your business down immediately afterwards and try your hand at an industry wholly unrelated to either 'customers' or 'service'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 17:41, Reply)

BT do this kind of thing as well
although with a mental alacrity not often encountered with their phone-drones, their customer service people only ever contact us with them when it's about a call with which we didn't have a massive ball-ache getting resolved.

We do not get many of these questionnaires.
( Kroney, Tue 12 Oct 2010, 17:28, Reply)