I've made up a song to the tune of "Sandman"
that I know will irritate any B3tan with a modicum of musical or linguistic ability. Or even anyone with even the vaguest sense of metre.

It's about Microsoft Updates and the words are crammed in so badly that I have to perform some quite extraordinary vocal quickstep to crowbar them all in.
( Kroney, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 11:08, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

1. Meter
2. That sounds shit beyond belief.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 11:10, Reply)

1: It is also a measurement thus, in Britain "metre"
2: It's exquisite in its awfulness.
( Kroney, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 11:11, Reply)

So it's 'Iambic Pentametre' then?

Clue: no it's fucking not.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 11:14, Reply)

A metre equals three foot, three
It's longer than a yard, you see.
(Cave Duck, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Pentameter
dimeter, hexameter.

All forms of metre. Fact.
( Kroney, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Yeah? Well YOU'RE GAY.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Perhaps.
But I'm also correct.
( Kroney, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 11:20, Reply)

But, you DID make up a song about Microsoft Updates.
I'm sorry Groany, but that's a bit like claiming that you deserve credit for not stepping on a snail when you've just been caught commiting some heinous crime that offends all decency, like snogging Su Pollard.
(Cave Duck, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Groany snogged Su Pollard?!
Ban this sick filth!
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Su Pollard
would totally get it.
( Kroney, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 11:32, Reply)

I'm going out now. I may be sometime.
I suggest that you have good long think about what you've said there Groany.
(Cave Duck, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 11:34, Reply)

This is about Giles Coren isn't it?

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 11:26, Reply)

He IS Giles Coren.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 11:28, Reply)

I'm reading his Wiki page at the moment
and not really getting the reference =( I don't give a shit about the Polish.
( Kroney, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 11:34, Reply)

Shut it Giles
and give us Victoria's phone number.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 11:35, Reply)

*googles*
Meh, looks too much like Alan.
( Kroney, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 11:39, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/sexism/post602040
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 11:42, Reply)

I'm not
*that* big a tosser.
( Kroney, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 11:53, Reply)

"It's about Microsoft Updates "
I reached "fuming" level at this point.
(Cave Duck, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 11:11, Reply)

*facepalms*

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 11:48, Reply)