Companies that just focus on making things like good
And students to some extent.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 18:46, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Flatter their feelings of self importance.
Say: "design is the hardest job in the world" and "Good design can move mountains" within the first two paragraphs.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 18:48, Reply)

1) Flatter them
2) Lot's of cliches
3) Tell them they're actually all cocks
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 18:51, Reply)

Another great start to an article
is summarising recieved wisdom about the subject then going: WELL THATS ALL WRONG AND YOU BELIEVE IT BECAUSE YOU'RE STUPID.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 18:54, Reply)

The joy of doing consultancy work
The whole premise is that you go in and tell people they're doing it wrong, then they hate you, and then you leave.

edit: Do you get to write such reports that are promptly ignored?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 18:55, Reply)

I write an awful lot of reports
but they're more stats based and so easier for managers to read.
Line goes up good
line goes down bad

I usually have to colour code though.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 18:57, Reply)

This is for someone old and set in their ways
They'll probably read it, read the bit saying they're doing it wrong and how they could do it better, then throw it in the bin.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 18:58, Reply)

Then emphasise the benifits at first
and propose a few easy steps and then some long term goals.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 18:59, Reply)

That is indeed roughly how I'll be doing it

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:01, Reply)

My friend does this a lot in his job
He says he has to be very careful with the colour scheme. Basically: Red = Bad; Green = Good; Blue/Black = Depends. Stray from that and people get very confused.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:11, Reply)

On one of my last days of fourteen years in the insurance industry
I endured a meeting in which the colour coding of report books was discussed with gusto.

Even relating this is bringing about a prickling behind the eyeballs - THE USELESS CUNTS. They're books. It doesn't matter what colour they are.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:21, Reply)

yep, red amber green
people understand that.
I still get "OMG it's 90% but it's amber" emails
Then I have to explain rounding to them.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:27, Reply)

A guy I used to work with once gave a presentation to the Dept of Transport.
After carefully outlining the parlous state of the nation's public transport infrastructure the only question or comment he got was "How do you make those boxes slide in from the side in Powerpoint?"
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 4 Nov 2010, 19:37, Reply)