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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I am proof-reading a catalogue.
If my day gets any more EXCITING AND GLAMOROUS I think my penis will snap off.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:29, 1 reply, 14 years ago)
Do you sell those door-stops that look like a dog cocking its leg?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:30, Reply)
Sadly not.
My dear brother's 'Dragon's Den' type idea that he's been planning for about twenty years is a door knocker shaped like a baby seal, with the knocking part that looks like a club. With that and the 'Auschwitz garden gates' scheme we're plotting, our family's fortunes are sure to be restored AND THEN SOME.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:33, Reply)
I would buy that door knocker

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:34, Reply)
Might I suggest
When the club smacks the seal, a small soundbyte of a chorus of PETA/Greenpeace activists shouting "WHY?!!" with all their trustafarian fury blast out from a hidden speaker.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:36, Reply)
that would be amazing

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:39, Reply)
Other soundbytes could include:
"You MONSTER!" or a short blast of The Vengaboys 'We're going to Ibiza'.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:41, Reply)
Or 'In Da Club' by 50 Cent

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:43, Reply)
I was just thinking that myself
Or 'Clubbed to Death' by Rob D.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:47, Reply)
Nightclubbing - David Essex - y'know, for night time.

(Cave Duck, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:51, Reply)
Or anything by Seal

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:52, Reply)
Actually, Sealclubbing by Half Man Half Biscuit.
I don't know why I didn't think of that before.
(Cave Duck, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:58, Reply)
Genius!

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:36, Reply)

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