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This is a question Advice from Old People

Sometimes, just sometimes, old people say something worth listening to. Ok, so it's like picking the needle out of a whole haystack of mis-remembered war stories, but those gems should be celebrated.

Tell us something worthwhile an old-type person has told you.

Note, we're leaving the definition of old up to you, you smooth-skinned youngsters.

(, Thu 19 Jun 2008, 16:16)
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I wish a parent or grandparent had warned me
to NEVER use 'peppermint zing' shower gel.

*wince*
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:02, 28 replies)
Oooooh!
But Mint Source shower gel is lovely, it makes me balls go all tingly.
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:03, closed)
tingly balls
are good

I've tried the mint source shave gel too. that stuff is intense
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:10, closed)
SHAVE gel?
That sounds powerfully exciting.
I love this stuff.
It's like putting ice on your crotch.
In a good way.
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:12, closed)
it is powerfully exciting
it's like putting ice on your balls ON YOUR FACE!!!
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:15, closed)
Ice on my balls ON MY FACE!
That sounds like teh greatest sensation in the world!

*runs off to buy tingly mint source shave gel*

But I don't use shave gel, I use hair conditioner.

*cries*
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:19, closed)
Original Mint Source shower gel
Is fantastic stuff. I'd buy it more often, but Sweary Junior ends up using half a fucking bottle at a time. So it would get a bit expensive having to buy a new bottle every other day.

:-/
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:20, closed)
Is it like 'tingly sensation' condoms?
Cos they make Mr Winky feel all sparkly!
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:23, closed)
^
A bit, yeah. But magnified times 10.
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:24, closed)
@DG
sounds burny
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:25, closed)
@baz
I've never tried them, but they look fun!
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:26, closed)
Al
You had lovely facial hair.
It prickled me a bit though.
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:27, closed)
@al
they're a chuckle yeah but to be honest the simpler and thicker the better otherwise the lady friend is in for a bit of a disappointment. Honestly, the less I feel, the longer it lasts, the happier yer wan is and the better the long march to glory becomes. KER-SPLAT!!!
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:29, closed)
I'm glad
we're back to discussing messy squelchy stuff. Not that I mind them at all but ...
*looks around furtively*
all the women on the long threads can make them a bit touchy feely

*touches and feels all the manly men here*
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:31, closed)
@al
It's not just the women though is it? There's an awful lot of metro males round these parts. Not tha it's a bad thing probably. My GF, bod gless her is competitive about farting which makes my life a lot simpler.
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:33, closed)
I once put Brut
body splash, or whatever it was called ("splash it all over", as Henry Cooper used to say) all over. Including my scrotum.

Like I said, I did it once. And learned from the experience.
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:37, closed)
Hang on...
the women don't start their threads talking about lovely shower gels and how tingly they are.

I'm watching you lot.
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:38, closed)
@k2k6
jaysus! it must have looked like a walnut! And as for the two boys all squashed up in there. Not good. You may never have children. And if you do, they'll probably be small and runtish.
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:39, closed)
@ baz
Depends on how much you use...

@ al - they are fun, yes.
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:39, closed)
@baz
Pinching my mate's expression to describe this very situation - my nutsack had the texture of a pair of corduroy trousers!

And clendrix - the thread was actually started by a woman, and we're now talking about our man parts... I'm not sure what that says about us, actually.
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:45, closed)
Baz...
Speaking from experience?

I had a "friend" who once mis-directed the nozzle on a spray can of Deep Heat. He missed the muscle that was aimed for on his thigh by 180 degrees, and fully doused his nut-sack.
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:45, closed)
Enough!
The boys are heading for the hills!
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:48, closed)
@Kaol
OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

I've gone from thinking about the greatest feeling (having ice on your balls ON YOUR FACE) to the second most painful thing I can think of!
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:50, closed)
Yeah...
My "friend" had tears streaming from that, and gritted teeth.

*shudders*
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:53, closed)
I now know things about K2k6's nut sack
that I never thought I would.

*retreats*
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:56, closed)
Dad prank
My father once worked in an office with a chap who proved to be very unpopular and suffered from a touch of the Ceramic Tiles.

His Preparation H was sneaked out of his desk drawer one afternoon and the contents of the tube were refilled with Heat Rub.

An hour later he was seen exiting the lavatory at high velocity with a distinctly pained expression on his face...

Poor bastard.
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 12:56, closed)
...And Jesus Wept
That's horrible...
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 13:00, closed)
'kin'ell
Having the Chalfonts is bad enough (so I'm told, ahem) without putting deap heat on them. That must have really hurt!

@clendrix - No more shall be spoken of my scrotal sac, other than to reassure you it's not always like corduroy!
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 13:07, closed)
Mmm
I have original source mint shower gel. Tingly stuff ;)
(, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 20:31, closed)

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