2 bad ones
Very recently I was at a bar with some Belgian friends and some of their friends, one of whom was talking about their job.

N - "So what do you do?"
Belgian - "I look after children, like what you call it, err, err, I don't know the English..."
N - "Oh, you mean a childmolester...MINDER!! ChildMINDER..."

Absolutely genuine slip of the tongue. No idea where it came from. Cue wifey booting the shit out of my shins under the table.

Belgian (Looking like I'd shat in her Hoegaarden)- "No, Au pair."
N - (trying to hide embarrassment)"Oh yeah, but isn't that French?"

Other one's not so bad. I was 16 and round at a mates house. Had drunk LOTS of beer (8 cans back then was lots!) and it was time to go home.

N - "Where d'you live again?"
Mate - "Balshagray Avenue"
N - "(titter) Balshagray? Bal-SHAG-ray?" Right, where'sh phone, I'll try to remember it."
Taxi Co - "Hello, Glasgow Wide TOA"
N - "Hello, can I have a shag please..Oh, er, I mean...*click*"
( Normanator Bad case of trapped wind since, Fri 27 May 2005, 9:43, Reply)