Wac-a-day, again
I acidentally paid good, cash money to watch an exhibition football match at Wembley Stadium: England vs The Rest of the World. In fact, about 80,000 people bought the hype and bought tickets for this game, and ITV shelled out half a groat for the live TV rights.

As anybody who has ever been to a football friendly will testify, these games are complete shite, with not a tackle to be seen and the game completely wrecked by a million substitutions.

So, there were 80,000 people inside The Venue of Legends, and it was like a morgue.

So I started a chant. Just a few of us to start with, a few snifters from a smuggled vodka giving us Dutch courage.

"Wac-a-day! Wac-a-day! Wac-a-day!" we shouted, and before long a few others had taken up the mantle as the superstars tapped the ball about on the pitch.

"Wac-a-day! Wac-a-day! Wac-a-day!" - pretty soon much of Wembley's tunnel end had picked it up as another highly paid player pulled out of a tackle.

"Wac-a-day! Wac-a-day! Wac-a-day!" - The WHOLE stadium. For about five minutes. Live. To an audience of literally dozens on ITV.

"WAC-A-DAY! WAC-A-DAY! WAC-A-DAY!"

Then, Maradona came off the bench for a cameo appearance, and the chant changed to one regarding his masturbatory habits, and my fleeting moment of fame had gone. I've still got a VHS of this match, but no video recorder to play it on.

Post Script: I met Timmy Mallett in the staff canteen a few months ago and told him this tale. Despite a look on his face that clearly read "What a nutter", I got two thumbs up from the man himself. I did not see his Pinky Punky.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 13:26, 4 replies)

Why didnt you hit him?
If he ever comes down to Stage 6, I fear my slapping hand would itch uncontrolably!
(CantSleepClownsWillGetMe Likes: Turtles, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 14:57, closed)

I've been told NOT to attack the "talent"
...after that whole Uri Geller thing.

And the Paul Daniels thing.

And the John Redwood thing.

And the Theresa May thing.

And the Anthony Worral Thompson thing.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 15:57, closed)

Actually, you mention Paul Daniels
A few years ago, when I was still in school, I managed to attain Mr Daniels e-mail address. And tell him that I thought he was shite and that I hoped he ended up being a prisoners bitch (And so on...)

What I should advise is that if you're planning to do this, to not use the cocking school email system.

Hence me being pulled into the head of years office to receive the bolocking of my life, going home to receive the bollocking of my life then being grounded for about 9 months! (My old man is ex-service, so it really meant I could do bugger all)

Most annoying thing? A couple of years later, my deputy head of year (I had left school long since then) Came up to me and said my email was the funniest thing he's ever read. My old man then told me he actually had it printed up and put onto the wall at work so everyone could read it!

Funniest thing about the situation? Paul Daniels wrote back personally, saying I needed psychiatric help. Had a bit more respect for him after that.

Sorry to threadjack, the name brought back memories....
(chatsharris is making you Bellend brew on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:51, closed)

For the love of god get that transferred to dvd
Before the VHS deteriorates.
(Helixdaunting, Fri 12 Jun 2009, 1:06, closed)