Vasectomy, Electricity, shaving, gonads!
So, 18 months ago I did the decent thing and got myself booked in for a Vasectomy. The diagram the GP gave me said "He'll go in from the back of your conker bag, 2 tiny holes, neat and tidy. make sure it's all cleanly shaved". That night, 1 leg on the bath, electric clippers, new Mach3 blade - and i did a lovely neat job!

Next day, drop me strides, wife giggling (she was allowed to sit and watch - and she really watched too!) Doc has a look, has a feel, finds the old tubes. "ahh he says, i'll go in from the front instead" Now, i was a bit gutted at this point - i'd spent a long time 'around the back' making sure it was neat, smooth and tidy - now he wasn't even going to see my handy work! I'd only given the front a grade 2!

I digress.

Nut Number 1: Needle goes in with anesthetic, no problem so far. Feel him tugging on the tubes a bit, not so bad. He's giving me a running commentary which isn't helping and the wife is watching like he's giving a away free handbags from M&S. Next thing I hear this MASSIVE loud buzzing behind my head, coming from what looked like a generator used to power neumatic road digging drills. "Don't worry, it's just the Cauterizing machine" - then I can smell the burning. Nice. First bit of tube removed and pipes sizzled. Still, it's not as embarassing/painful as i feared and everything going smoothly. That is until...

Nut Number 2: He swaps sides, has a rummage again for the tube. Anesthetic, small incision, chop out the length of tube, time to seal it....

BBBUUZZZ -AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

"oh, I think I haven't anesthetized you properly" he says. "I must have grounded you" YES - RIGHT THRU MY GONAD! Direct electric shock to my right bollock. Now, the wife said i was atleast 3 feet off the bed. Oh my word, then came the dreaded ACHE but I was still being sewn up! It felt like my bollock was vibrarting for hours afterwards. I think i might have cried too.

Rest of the op went fine, however that knacker is STILL, to this day, super sensitive. Still, it's a good story I dine out on as it makes all mate mates wince.
(TheManofScience, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 10:59, 5 replies)

2nd Vasectomy story
Never will I have this done...ever....ever
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 11:35, closed)

Me neither.
It's morning-after pills for the missus all the way. Or anal.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 12:58, closed)

HAHA!
Good tips Bara. Another tip; get her on the injection, no pills to "accidently" forget to take and it lasts for a few years, plus no excuses for being in a foul mood once a month, however I can see why the A-route could work out for you ;D
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:29, closed)

You're all big fucking jessies
I had a vasectomy but, being an Olympic standard coward, I had a general anaesthetic and didn't feel a fucking thing. My mate came to collect me from the hospital (Burnley General)and brought me a swimming ring to sit on in his car, but I didn't use it. I had a few hours of very mild discomfort and that was it. I've had less comfortable baths.
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Sat 31 Jul 2010, 23:32, closed)

!
Soooo-pah title!
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Sun 1 Aug 2010, 6:46, closed)