Out of my depthAs a schoolkid, I signed up for a public speaking contest purely as a ruse to meet girls. It haunts me still: in front of 300 people, I started to speak, dried up, stood there for what felt like half an hour staring at the floor and then slowly walked back to my seat. Oh, and the girl I liked laughed.
Have you ever been utterly, completely, devastatingly out of your depth?
(
chthonic, Thu 14 Oct 2004, 15:07)
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Not being funnyAge 11, Pontins holiday camp. Young me decides out of boredom to enter 'talent' contest. Incredibly my ill-prepared naff impressions and thievery of the routines of Andrew O'Connor off TV's On The Waterfront is enough to see me victorious against my nearest rivals, two skinhead brothers who do 'acrobatics' (forward rolls) and a girl who 'sang' 'Nothing's Gonna Change (My Love For You)' by Glen Medeiros.
Anyway, as well as getting a medal and a lovely photo I get to go to the FINAL which is at a big Pontins in October - meaning I have to take A DAY OFF SCHOOL. My entire family come with me to 'support' and I assure them that I've worked out an hilarious routine, when I clearly haven't, even to the extent of asking my dad to acquire some bizarre props for me which I have pretty much no intention of ever using.
Having done absolutely no preparation whatsoever, I get there and DIE ON MY 11 YEAR OLD ARSE in front of 300 people including my Parents and Brother, and to this day, we never speak of this. In my memories, a baby even starts crying during a silence following one of my 'jokes'.
Ironically, I now make a living from comedy.
(, Fri 15 Oct 2004, 11:51, Reply)
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