"I am a fish and fish can't do science"
Once upon a time the Imp was actually fairly intelligent. this would have been 3rd yr of secondary school (yr 9?). And, as a result, for the SATS science test I, along with a few others were given the chance to do an extension paper to take us up to level 8.
Piece of cake. I'd breezed the Maths one, so figured this would be similar.

I have not been so wrong for a very long time (excluding maths A Level, that actually made me cry...got my A tho but that's a different story).

So anyway, bright spark enters exam room fairly chilled, I can bollocks this up and all will be ok. I've not revised, and never do. Open exam paper. WTF??? Did I have a bloody clue what they were on about? None. So I panicked for a while. Then got bored.
Boredom is a dangerous thing to a 14 year old. I decided I would write down, instead of the correct answers, an amalgamation of ALL the scientific knowledge I possessed. This, as far as I remember, included me drawing a diagram of a horse's leg bones (I'm a girl, I still hadn't got into boys). In fact, that was it. I then proceeded to answer questions with the line
"I am a fish"
For the final question I had decided to write a lovely letter to the poor person who'd had to sift through the paper for any sensible answers. In an attempt to get my (now extremely hyper and giggling) self out of trouble I apologised and then gave the explanation for my crapness as, as I had said previously "I am a fish and fish can't do science".

All this would have been wonderful enough, but as a parting gesture I'd decided to quote a friend of mine saying "Fish like to fly high in the sky at night". And other such meaningful proverbs, on any blank paper within the exam booklet. They must have been pissing themselves when they marked that.

Result? Well, I didn't pass, thank God it was externally marked! But I managed to just miss out on the level 8, which was a f*ck of a lot better than all my other mates did. Plus I was laughing all day while they were stressing. Yay!! One up for silliness. And, I have used this technique to good effect during my degree. Talk bollocks and confuse the lecturers. Think it's gonna backfire at some point?
(Imp of destruction, Tue 19 Oct 2004, 22:12, Reply)