Twice in one night...
#1
I was at the 18th birthday party of a friend in some bar out near the sea front somewhere (I think it was called 'Zoo' or some such). They made the error of having a special offer - Two drinks for the price of one (not too expensive) drink.
Being 17 and possessing neither taste nor sense, I proceeded to begin the heavy drinking (this at 7.30) with the order of two pints of lager and a double whisky for while I was waiting. This was repeated thrice before I felt the need to go home, whereupon I tried very unsuccessfully to boak horizontally into a litter bin outside the bar, upsetting the bouncers somewhat. Not so much out of my depth as drowned in booze...
#2:
Soon after this, in my pissed and blissfully unaware state I wandered off and caught the train home.
Two stops later, I began to feel decidedly... unwell, and had to get off the train again for some air. Unfortunately for me, while I was waiting for the next train to come along, some crazy old alcoholic dosser, uhm, 'befriended' me.
Which was mightily inconvenient.
Especially when it came time to get off the train and go home to the family.
The specimen had decided he'd found somewhere to sleep, and wasn't going to be brushed off too easily. So, having recovered a little, I thought I'd buy some time. I suggested we went for a drink at the pub next to the train station, and while I was there I'd escape somehow.
All the way to the pub I was shitting myself, this crazy bloody old derelict tagging along with me, and I was already way too fucked to go home and have them NOT know I was as pissed as a cranberry.
Got to the pub, and I had what can only be desribed as THE WORLD'S MOST BRILLIANT PLAN! Being courteous, I held the door open for the fella. He went inside, and (considering how drunk I was) gave him a good hard kick up the arse.
And then I ran away.
Like fuck.
(And yes I did get rumbled for the massive boozing...)

Apologies for length and girth, there's always too much.
(Sathington Willoughby, Thu 21 Oct 2004, 16:35, Reply)