Put my coat on properly
Of course I can actually wear a coat and I can put it on unaided. I just seem to only be able to do it by simultaneously raising both of my arms up and directly out about 30% above and slightly behind what I like to call, the scarecrow position.

This often leads to bystanders being slapped with a flapping sleeve or punched as both hands simultaneously emerge at speed from rapidly receding sleeves. Low hanging ceiling lights are frequently set a-swinging

I have a responsible job where I go to important meetings and I've noticed (only recently) that this can lead to puzzled looks and the odd offence being taken.

I don't know how people can just seem to shrug their coats on.

I'm 44
(Gusofnavarone always makes a map of france from sarnies, Mon 2 Feb 2015, 15:52, 5 replies)

Learn to put it on whilst facing your chair.
Learn to, when your coat is on the chair back, cross your arms over each other then lift the coat over your head and onto your shoulders -- it uses less space than your current method.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Mon 2 Feb 2015, 18:37, closed)

and then spend the next half an hour crawling around the floor picking up the pocket contents

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 2 Feb 2015, 19:17, closed)

Only if you do it wrong.
Done correctly the coat remains upright at all times.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 3 Feb 2015, 9:31, closed)

I'll try it but it sounds like witchcraft to me
Watch this space.

Incidentally someone nicked my nice wool coat at a funeral in Wolverhampton recently. If you've seen it anywhere it's black with red lining from M&S
(Gusofnavarone always makes a map of france from sarnies, Tue 3 Feb 2015, 12:02, closed)

I've not tried the witchcraftish way yet but..
I did put on my slouch around the house hoody (it's from an acceptably upmarket store so acceptable for a 44 year old before you say anything) last night and managed to hit my wife in the eye with the zip on the front as part of the post-putting on flourish. She was sad anyway because her dad is in hospital so that topped off her day really.
(Gusofnavarone always makes a map of france from sarnies, Thu 12 Feb 2015, 11:06, closed)