Lies that got out of control
Ever claimed you could speak a foreign language to impress friends, colleagues and/or get laid? Make a twat of yourself - and I couldn't possibly comment - saying you were the godson of the chairman of BP? Tell us how your porkies have caught up with you
(Thanks to augsav and Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic for the suggestions)
( , Thu 12 Aug 2010, 13:03)
Ever claimed you could speak a foreign language to impress friends, colleagues and/or get laid? Make a twat of yourself - and I couldn't possibly comment - saying you were the godson of the chairman of BP? Tell us how your porkies have caught up with you
(Thanks to augsav and Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic for the suggestions)
( , Thu 12 Aug 2010, 13:03)
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The Day I Wore My Slippers To School
One day, at the age of nine, I accidentally wore my slippers to school.
"Hey! Duck!" shouted Steven B, "You're wearing your slippers to school!"
I looked down, saw a red pair of carpet slippers, panicked, remembered we were allowed plimsolls instead of outside shoes in class, and came up with a bare-faced porkie: "No. No they're not. They're my new school plimsolls."
From that moment on, I was doomed. To avoid ridicule, I had to sneak them out of the house every day, and when challenged on the fact that I appeared to be wearing a pair of red carpet slippers to school reply "No. No they're not. They're my new school plimsolls."
I also had to wear them in PE, and my feet were agony.
Then, one day, the ultimate humiliation - a familiar figure in the door of the classroom. My mother. My mother had come into school.
Deathly quiet as one of the great taboos was broken. Your mother. In class. It couldn't get much worse.
Then, it did:
"I saw you wearing your slippers to school this morning, so I thought I'd drop off your shoes."
We had recently discovered a new word, and as my mother disappeared into the car park, thirty voices (including, for some reason, that of my teacher) echoed as one: "WANKERRRRRR!"
( , Thu 12 Aug 2010, 15:32, 6 replies)
One day, at the age of nine, I accidentally wore my slippers to school.
"Hey! Duck!" shouted Steven B, "You're wearing your slippers to school!"
I looked down, saw a red pair of carpet slippers, panicked, remembered we were allowed plimsolls instead of outside shoes in class, and came up with a bare-faced porkie: "No. No they're not. They're my new school plimsolls."
From that moment on, I was doomed. To avoid ridicule, I had to sneak them out of the house every day, and when challenged on the fact that I appeared to be wearing a pair of red carpet slippers to school reply "No. No they're not. They're my new school plimsolls."
I also had to wear them in PE, and my feet were agony.
Then, one day, the ultimate humiliation - a familiar figure in the door of the classroom. My mother. My mother had come into school.
Deathly quiet as one of the great taboos was broken. Your mother. In class. It couldn't get much worse.
Then, it did:
"I saw you wearing your slippers to school this morning, so I thought I'd drop off your shoes."
We had recently discovered a new word, and as my mother disappeared into the car park, thirty voices (including, for some reason, that of my teacher) echoed as one: "WANKERRRRRR!"
( , Thu 12 Aug 2010, 15:32, 6 replies)
oh god.
you've reminded me of the time i forgot to take my shoes off before doing 'it's a hard knock life' from Annie at the drama club revue.
*curls into foetal position, sobbing*
( , Thu 12 Aug 2010, 16:08, closed)
you've reminded me of the time i forgot to take my shoes off before doing 'it's a hard knock life' from Annie at the drama club revue.
*curls into foetal position, sobbing*
( , Thu 12 Aug 2010, 16:08, closed)
it could be worse
I went to school with two odd shoes on once without noticing
( , Thu 12 Aug 2010, 16:10, closed)
I went to school with two odd shoes on once without noticing
( , Thu 12 Aug 2010, 16:10, closed)
My brother went home from a friends party
with one of his trainers on and one of her trainers on. He's a size 8, she's a size 6. He robbed their bike to get home on too.
( , Thu 12 Aug 2010, 16:15, closed)
with one of his trainers on and one of her trainers on. He's a size 8, she's a size 6. He robbed their bike to get home on too.
( , Thu 12 Aug 2010, 16:15, closed)
Oh shoes...
I've done this, but to a whole new level. I actually bought two odd shoes and wore them to school for 5 weeks before someone else noticed. My mother took me back to the shop and they were quite pleased as they'd been confused by the two spare shoes they had in the stockroom. Sold me the other pair for a tenner!
I put them on every day without noticing, but once someone pointed it out they were so obviously not at all similar.
( , Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:44, closed)
I've done this, but to a whole new level. I actually bought two odd shoes and wore them to school for 5 weeks before someone else noticed. My mother took me back to the shop and they were quite pleased as they'd been confused by the two spare shoes they had in the stockroom. Sold me the other pair for a tenner!
I put them on every day without noticing, but once someone pointed it out they were so obviously not at all similar.
( , Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:44, closed)
Blouse
You reminded me of the time I was 8/9 and after getting changed after PE got changed back into a school friends blouse, this was the days when boys and girls got changed in the same classroom. It was only noticed when my Mum was ironing it.
Never did find out who's it was.
( , Thu 12 Aug 2010, 16:39, closed)
You reminded me of the time I was 8/9 and after getting changed after PE got changed back into a school friends blouse, this was the days when boys and girls got changed in the same classroom. It was only noticed when my Mum was ironing it.
Never did find out who's it was.
( , Thu 12 Aug 2010, 16:39, closed)
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