But I'm a Real Girl!
Last summer whilst I was living back in Norfolk, I went to have an STD test (just to be a responsible adult y'know). I wasn't nervous, had them before. Went into the room to have a chat with the doctor before the testing- here is an extract of the converation:

Doctor: So Miss AFTN, are you in a relationship?

Me: No

Doctor: When was the last time you had sex?

Me: Two months ago.

Doctor: Ah ok, since you've said you've recently come back from travelling, was this with a man you met whilst in South America?

Me: Oh no, it was a local Norfolk lad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now here's what the answers SHOULD have been:

Doctor: So Miss AFTN, are you in a relationship?

Me: Yes

Doctor: When was the last time you had sex?

Me: Last weekend

Doctor: Ah ok, since you've said you've recently come back from travelling, was this with a man you met whilst in South America?

Me: No, it was with my girlfriend who lives in London.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have NO idea where these answers came from! They just came out, no thinking about it, no hesitation!

I'm not usually too bothered about people knowing about my sexuality. But there are exceptions, usually around older people. When I went on holiday a couple of years ago with my friend and her family, she told me not to mention I had a girlfriend in front of her grandparents as it was a generation/ religion thing.

Also I work with a girl from Ghana, who doesn't really understand it due to cultural differences.

I don't see my dad very often, prolly 3-4 times a year and I haven't got around to telling him as he's not the most open minded man I know.

I'm not very brave and HATE confrontation. So I have to censor what I say (or lie about my lifestyle) to different people. But only to people I hardly ever see so it's not like I'm leading a double life or owt! Can just be a bit difficult sometimes!

Yus I'm proud

I think I have issues.....
( awayfromthenumbers, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:57, 31 replies)

May I be the first to say it...
POIDH

Have a click.
(SatchmoR No, mummy, don't put knitting needles in my ears!, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:02, closed)

I shouldn't worry
I always think it's a bit odd that there's an assumption you have to be 'out and proud'. There's absolutely no reason to feel you need to tell everyone you come across about your sexuality, any more than if you were straight.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:38, closed)

I'm straight, I'm usually late
GET USED TO IT
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:47, closed)

My sister came out some time ago
and my Dad was generally fine about it. However he did turn round to me and say if I told him that I was gay then it would have been a different matter. I guess that hetrosexual men can relate to gay girls more than gay blokes but I found his response interesting.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:48, closed)

What an odd double-standard
Why do you reckon he feels that way?
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:15, closed)

Hmmmm... I wonder.

( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:16, closed)

I
Think he probably feels more threatened by gay blokes than gay women, only thing I could think of. I think that may be quite common of that generation.

I could imagine that if i approached him and said dad, I have to tell you something about my sexuality...I shag dead people, his response would be, phew I thought you were going to tell me you were gay.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:32, closed)

By "more threatened" ...
... I take it you mean "less aroused"?
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:45, closed)

haha possibly or maybe even more aroused :O
I'm going to ask him over Chistmas dinner this year, should be a good conversation!! Especially with my sister there!
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 15:49, closed)

Is it the whole bum-sex thing?
It's not as if all gays like it whereas plenty of, mostly female, heterosexuals can't get enough. Could your Dad be terrified of some deep-seated desires of his own? Lord knows we all fall somewhere on the spectrum until time and conditioning hardens (oooer) our preferences.

When I was in my late teens and early twenties I swear to God I would have bonked a bloke out of sheer horniness and curiosity if it hadn't been considered completely unacceptable within my lager-swilling, social milieu.

Now I'm older and married and the thought of it no longer appeals because I've found so much pleasure in vaginas and the female form. But had I gone out on a gay spree, perhaps I might have liked it to the point where I'd now be living in Brighton, wearing tight lycra and roller-blading down by the beach hand-in-hand with some gorgeous youth. You just never know!
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 15:07, closed)

Well you may
Have a point there Bara, none of us are 100% straight are we? But I would probably describe the old man as a dormant homophobe, in other words until it's on his door step he won't go on about it. I'm a great believer in "Madame doth protest too much" though and my missus, who used to play football, knew quite a few gay girls. One girl in the football team used to go on and on about how she thought it was disgusting only for Mrs. Arrow to bump into her years later hand in hand with her girlfriend. I have to say my closest experience to that was nearly being sucked off by a transexual, there is a full story about somewhere in the QOTW archives, I chickened out when the penny dropped at the last minute to the disgust of my more open minded friends who thought it would have been the best BJ I had ever received. Yeah right didn't you realise it was a bloke arrow? Massive drugs were involved with a liberal sprinkling of naivety. I like you appreciate the female form much more; it does funny things to me, whereas man bits don't. I wonder what your life would have been like if you followed the other path, one thing I can tell you for sure is, you'd definately have more money ;)
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 16:10, closed)

"None of us are 100% straight"?
According to whom?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 16:22, closed)

Just me I'm afraid
Although not being the ultimate knowledge of the universe you can take that with a pinch of salt. Would you say you were 100% Vagabond?
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 16:29, closed)

Yeah, I think I would.
I certainly don't buy that bloody "Every straight man likes a bit of gay" line.

Girls, however - well - I've seen some videos, and it's pretty obvious they're not averse to a bit of girl.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 16:40, closed)

I was going
to use the girl comparrsion but obvioulsy they are a lot more comftable than men with their sexuality.

Wouldn't you have to have had the odd gay thought in your youth, to know you weren't gay?Like Bara had, If not close your eyes and......kidding. I think I have just spoken to gay guys that say they have slept with a lot of straight guys and I base my fuzzy theory on that.

I would say I was a 99% due to the event i described above. But you did say that you "think" you would, does that make it a 99.999999% ?
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 16:53, closed)

Yes I know this argument.
Percentages in relation to sexual urge doesn't really compute for me.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 17:27, closed)

Fair enough Vag
Your views are fairly moderate and you have been totally out done by Steh below, I have my opinions and you have yours. End of.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:42, closed)

There's something about the
musk of aroused female genitalia that acts on me in an almost subliminal way and gets me properly hard. I've seen gay porn and I don't get much more than a halfhearted twitch in the boxer shorts.

That said, if I had not made my marital vows, and a presentable bloke offered to blow me without my having to reciprocate, I'd probably just go for it.

The whole notion of 'gay' and 'straight' is a very new one and it's typical of our sexually neurotic culture to make such a big deal out of what is really a picture with many grey areas. If I make a new friend who happens to be gay, one of the first things you feel inclined to tell people about is their sexuality. I don't really know what point I'm trying to make but your bed-time jollies should come way down the list in terms of defining you as a human-being.

And re the 100% thing, I would suggest that given the right cultural setting, eg Ancient Greece, very few of us would innately stick to one form of sexual expression.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 17:14, closed)

Couldn't of put it better myself Bara
I didn't always think like this but have mellowed in my older years.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 17:22, closed)

Totally.
The pink pound is strong. Permanent dinky status - nice!
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 17:21, closed)

Im 100% straight
I also know that fucking another man is wrong, unnatural, and causes AIDS.
(steh30, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 19:41, closed)

Steh
A brief glimpse at your profile reveals an unnatural level of obsession with, and aversion to, gays. There are three possibilities:

1.) You've been sexually abused by a male, in which case you have my utmost sympathy (and indeed empathy, for I have likewise suffered).

2.) You blindly follow a particular creed or religion that regards homosexuality as sinful.

3.) You are a self-hating homo. That self-loathing didn't develop out of thin air, so again you have my sympathies for having been reared in such an oppressive, narrow-minded environment. Unfortunately the SHH can do a lot of damage to his own kind. Just witness the seemingly endless list of recently outed Republicans in the US who have spent their whole lives voting against gay liberties whilst leading a sleazy double-life.

Fucking another male is not unnatural if you mean that animals don't do it. Watch a video of Bonobo Chimps just for starters. There's nothing natural about nylon socks or Baked Alaska either, to paraphrase Stephen Fry.

Perhaps have a bit of a think before spewing more anti-gay venom on this board.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 23:35, closed)

^This^
I am surpised you haven't been internet lynched with views like that. I could kind of understand where Vagabond was coming from and if that's his opinion that's fine but you sir are talking out of your arse. I am really surprised that Bara is the only person that has commented on this :\ Did you hear about that German girl that gave aids to one of her partners, you would be a fool to think that the aids problem is purely a gay thing. Don't die of ignorance mate..

Edit- Wow you do talk about being gay a lot don't you, I think Bara's assumption is balls on accurate, you protest way too much.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:35, closed)

I genuinely thought you were joking until I looked at your profile....
....erm...wow, pretty speechless.
( awayfromthenumbers, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 11:03, closed)

I guess he must be the resident homophobe
that lurks until the question of sexualality comes up...
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:13, closed)

Are you sure you have a girlfriend?
Only if not, you may well be in a sketch from Little Britain.

I took my missus back to Norfolk a while back, she wouldn't stop making rubbish jokes about Stephen Fry. That is until the radio alarm clock went off one morning and then she wouldn't stop laughing at Stephen Bumfry.
( Dervel OTBC, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:17, closed)

Yupyup I'm very sure :-D

Haha a Little Britain sketch?!
( awayfromthenumbers, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:46, closed)

Well no
The opposite really, of the one where Daffyd is in the clinic.

Actually I'm not even sure that makes sense to me anymore.
( Dervel OTBC, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:23, closed)

Generally I operate a policy of brutal honesty
But seeing as I'm a heterosexual male I can't really relate to the difficulty of coming out of the closet.

That being said, I've just recently broken it off with a lesbian girl I was seeing for near on two years, mainly because she was terrified of admitting that she was bisexual and having to come out to everyone about it. To the extent of het family and friends not knowing about me at all, even though we were fucking pretty regularly for two years, and she wanted me to move in with her. Needless to say, that ended up driving me away from her, and it was a particularly messy break up.

So don't hide your sexuality, whatever it happens to be. People have no right to judge you for it.
(DarkLite swallowed my entire undercarriage, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:13, closed)

You're probably worried it may get back to your parents at some point.
I'm not saying your Doctor will just throw it in there when your mum goes in for a flu jab or something. But you never know, paranoia can make you seem like something's wrong when it isn't.
(WiggZ, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:00, closed)

Well my Mum knows and she's fine about it! (Except she recently told my brother I'm "going through a phase"... 5 years and still going!)

It's just I'm not close to my Dad at all, so can't be bothered to rock the boat when I don't really see him that much. And now I feel like too much time has passed, so if I did tell him, he'd get pissed off that my Mum and brothers knew and he didn't... eeep!

What a tangled web we weave etc etc...
( awayfromthenumbers, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:17, closed)