Famous people who write "books"
I have a degree in english and in creative writing, and am studying for a master's degree in poetry and novel craftting. I have been trying to get a book published for years.

But Jordan, Kerry Katona and all those other vacuous and uninteresting chavs, have FOUR or so autobiographies out. And kids' books!

How is this fair?

**breathes**
(YayLady is cold, Fri 2 May 2008, 16:38, 9 replies)

Jordan's latest is hilarious
Not the book so much, but the cover. It's called something like "On the Edge" and there's a big old picture of that leathery old trout on the front, pouting and tilting her head in a manner that's supposed to suggest "stressed, vulnerable but still HOT"

I laughed out loud in a quiet bookshop.
( Kroney, Fri 2 May 2008, 16:43, closed)

^ Thanks Kroney
I feel a lot better now. "On the Edge," eh?

As if.
(YayLady is cold, Fri 2 May 2008, 16:47, closed)

On the Edge ?
Bagsey I'm the one who gets to kick her off the fucking edge.

Vacuous bint.
(kickstandrich last had sex with your mum/sister/wife/daughter on, Fri 2 May 2008, 16:59, closed)

Get a boob job...
...or adverise frozen chicken nuggets.

Literary success is practically guaranteed.
(wrigglesworth, Fri 2 May 2008, 17:05, closed)

Because they have big tits
bad attitudes and cocaine habits to fund.

I once stayed at a friends house and read a tiny bit of the first Jordan book.

It was great! No, wait, it was utter shit. Perfect for the hollyoaks generation.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Fri 2 May 2008, 17:07, closed)

She's on the edge
From having such a hard life getting paid lots of money to get her hilariously over-sized knockers out for the beetle-browed, hairy armed lowest common denominator.

I feel for her, I really do.
( Kroney, Fri 2 May 2008, 17:15, closed)

Jordan, etc.
I work in a bookshop and the reliance on these titles to produce sales can be quite frightening. If it's any consolation each of Jordan's books has sold less than the one before, and Kerry Katona's was a turkey.

But they've also both written NOVELS!! Well, they've 'suggested ideas' that someone else has written, God help us.

It's nothing new though, back in the 90s both Martina Navratilova and Naomi Campbell had novels out, too. Never went into second editions, surprisingly...
(singingringingtree Living in the past., Mon 5 May 2008, 20:32, closed)

@ singingringingtree
Actually it is consoling, thanks.

=)

**breathe**
(YayLady is cold, Tue 6 May 2008, 14:05, closed)

the only possible explanation...
is that despite it not being their chosen career, they are both much, much more talented authors than you.*
Sorry to break it to you that way.

*I'm not serious
( Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Thu 8 May 2008, 11:14, closed)