'not being funny, but..'
i HATE when people use this phrase! it almost always precedes something like
i've lost my fuckin bank card! i'm totally fucked and the girlfriend's expecting a birthday dinner at a fancy restaurant! (the onosecond!) and some cunt pipes up 'not being funny, but have you checked your pockets'

HOW IS THAT FUNNY? at what point did you decide i could misconstrue that as a joke? you're right, you're not being funny, you're being a fuckspazz and you deserve to be maimed with a ride-on mower! ok, maybe if you preceded it with 'not being funny, but there was an englishman, and irishman and a scotsman' i'd understand the need to explain yourself. as it is you're merely exasperating the exasperated.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 2 May 2008, 18:09, 4 replies)

they don't mean funny haha...
and when someone says,

"I'm not being funny", they usually are doing exactly that - being a bit off with you.
(powertiger, Fri 2 May 2008, 18:16, closed)

*clicks*
I fucking hate this. They're always using it to foreshadow something rude, stupid, or otherwise poorly thought-out. And the reason they add this ridiculous preface is because on some level they're aware of this, and think that the disclaimer excuses the imbecilic nature of the sentence.
(The Ghost of Stephen Foster, Fri 2 May 2008, 18:20, closed)

A bit like
"no offence, but" followed by something really hurtful and cutting, causing me to secretly die inside.

*sniff*
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Fri 2 May 2008, 18:21, closed)

Or
"I don't mean to be rude but" followed by eye-widening rudeness.

I usually cut that one off with, "Well don't be rude then".

Tends to flabber their gasts. Or gasts their flabber. Whatever.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Fri 2 May 2008, 18:28, closed)