Work Cunt
The cunt who sits next to me at work. Everyone else in the office comments on the state of his desk (mouldy coffee cups, chocolate bar wrappers, random bits of paper) but the desk pales into insignificance when compared with its occupant.

A big tall guy in his 30s who still lives with his mum and smells strongly of cabbage (maybe it's because of a metabolic disorder he has no control over, but he still fucking stinks). Occasionally he covers it up with Lynx or some other evil smelling concoction, which just makes it even worse.

When he arrives at work he has to ring his mum to reassure her he arrived safely. This invariably begins "Hello, I'm in *insert full name of office* now". (why can't he just say "I'm at work"?) Then there follows a two minute discussion about the weather and how he was lucky to have brought his waterproof coat today as it looks like rain.

He brings a man-bag to work so he can bring his organic nut and lentil bars and fair trade 90% cocoa from Sumatra chocolate bars in with him. These he eats noisily, so noisily, in fact that most of the people sitting in his immediate vicinity have taken to wearing headphones in the office.

I have had the misfortune of supervising this twat for a couple of years and while he's pretty OK at his job, I've had to put up with long winded requests for leave because "I want to bring mum shopping as it's a lovely day" and "there's a pair of MBTs in the shoe shop I want to try on". OK, I'VE SIGNED YOUR LEAVE APPLICATION FORM, NOW FUCK OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE!

And everyone comments on what a lovely polite gentleman this guy is... yes, but just wait until review time comes around and he thinks he should get a prize for doing the same job as everyone else, and aggressively argues this with his line manager. The arguments are poorly constructed, and often don't relate to the work done in the year under review, so they are invariably shot down. Twat.

I've now been assigned a different team and have been able to move desks so I no longer have to put up with this. Thank fuck, as I have been contemplating going down the local hardware shop and coming in with a chainsaw.

Oh yes, and I hate cunts in 4x4s as well. Surprised?
(drfeck pissshitfuck, Sun 4 May 2008, 10:06, 2 replies)

Hell is other people,
I sympathise.
( ..wil, Sun 4 May 2008, 10:10, closed)

Wishful thinking
Would that it were so easy, but this is the civil service. They let all sorts in and it's impossible to get sacked.

I have to make do with poking him with sticks for my amusement.
(drfeck pissshitfuck, Mon 5 May 2008, 16:58, closed)