A work mate
Had Tiscali tv / broadband installed on the 1st of April. The engineer had been gone 10 minutes when he got disconnected and couldn't get back on. He phoned up and was told to reset the router etc - no joy.
Four weeks of no internet later, and several dozen phone calls to supposed 'Richard' etc in Bangladesh or wherever, he lost his rag and said he wanted to cancel his 12 month contract.

'You must wait 28 days before you can cancel'
'What day does it say I was connected, as I called 10 minutes after I was'
'Your contract commenced on the 1st of April, you must wait 28 days, which will take you into May'
'Hows that work then?'
'You must please wait 28 days sir'
'Whats 1 + 28?'
'29 sir'
'Whats the date today'
'30th of April'
' So i have waited more than 28 days you cretin, cancel my contract'
'Oh, ok'

The next day he got a call at work from Tiscali technical support.

'You have a problem with your router sir'
'Yes, 4 weeks ago'
'Can you get to your router now?
'No, I am at work, but it doesn't matter now, I cancelled my contract, I am no longer with Tiscali'
'Shall i phone later'
'There's no point, i am not with you any more'
'What time shall i call'
'Don't'
'Shall i call later this evening'
'You.....are....wasting....your...time....I ...am...not...a...customer...any....more.'
'What time would be convenient'
'Fuck....off'
(turtles head is touching cloth poked a dwarf on the forehead at, Sun 4 May 2008, 10:15, Reply)