I also hate people that say
"If I were you, I would do this".

No you wouldn't, if you were me, you'd be doing exactly the same as I'm doing now. because you'd be me, you see, and therefore party to my thought and decision making processes.

This particularly got my goat when I was in the process of splitting from the ex. "If I were you, I'd divorce her, mate" was the most common advice I got.

Me: "Er, no, thank you - I don't want to divorce her. I want her to come to her bloody senses and give it another go, actually. Because I love her, you see".

Mates "Fair enough, but if I were you I'd still divorce her".

Me: "Oh, fuck off".

Etc.

(I did divorce her in the end, obviously).
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 4 May 2008, 17:46, Reply)