Hypocrites
Specifically - my mother.

"You're on that computer far too much, why don't you turn it off and sit down in the evenings and watch tv."

She sits down all evening staring at the TV. I sit down all evening staring at my monitor. Where's the difference? At least my fingers get more exercise (from using the keyboard, pervs).

She threatened to smash it once, because I was allegedly ignoring her telephone calls in which she wanted to tell me all about what happened in Neighbours/Eastenders/Home & Away or whatever crap she'd been watching that day. Apparently (so she tells me) the internet isn't real. I should watch home and/or garden makeover programs, reality tv, soap operas etc all day (in the same way that she does) .. apparently those are.


Oh.. and the crusty old bint who lives next door to me - and her runty little Westie. I hate that dog.

She seems to think that excuses for her dog continually yapping and howling for hours on end include: The plane that flew over 20 minutes ago; the bird that landed on a wall 50 yards away from her house; my cat flap "rattling" as my cat went out of it; a child skateboarding on the pavement on the other side of the road (she even went so far as to shout at said child that he was "disturbing her dog"); me opening my front or back door; anyone walking in the road outside her house; any animal walking past her house, etc.


Other pet peeves include:
chavs,
people who don't pick up their dog's crap,
recorded messages "please listen to the following 4 options",
gossips and rumourmongers,
teenagers (especially screechy female ones),
people who talk too loudly in restaurants drowning out everyone else's conversations,
rolls of flesh hanging over hipster jeans (usually worn by aforementioned screechy female teens and accompanied by those awful sheepskin wellies)
young males with their jeans halfway down their arse,
older, larger males attempting to emulate said young males but forgetting the essential boxer element and instead forcing me to suddenly confront rather foul and hairy bum cleavage upon turning a corner *shudder*
telephone calls which start "you have been selected..."
my local chippie forgetting to give me my mushy peas,
toenail clippers, and
excessive nostril and ear hair.
(Freakmandu, Tue 6 May 2008, 2:22, 2 replies)

What's the matter
with toenail clippers?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 6 May 2008, 4:20, closed)

Well..
They break too easily, they get lost too frequently, and they need a collection bag attached to collect the flying toenail schrapnel.
(Freakmandu, Tue 6 May 2008, 7:58, closed)